Sacrifices, apocalypses, and other family matters
by BchersindMagie
Summary: After the 'accident' at the end of season 1, both John and Dean are on death's door. Sam as the only Winchester left standing takes drastic measures to ensure his family's survival. How will the Winchesters react when they find out what their youngest did? Will they ever see each other again? AU. Warnings for mentions of torture in later chapters. Rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my fist story. The formatting might be a bit weird, but I am trying my best. English is not my first language and so far I have no beta reader. I will do my best to avoid mistakes, but if I do make some, please tell me about it and forgive me. The characters in this story will be quite OOC, especially later on. I am aware of that fact and I want it that way. I hope they are nonetheless still somewhat recognizable.**

 **I have no idea about hospital policies in the USA and don't know much about medical stuff. If something sounds utterly ridiculous you are invited to either ignore it or tell me.**

 **This will be AU from season 2 onward.**

 **I am not copying this from another author on this or any other page. Any similarities are unintentional.**

 **Tell me what you think.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 1

Sam didn't know what to do. Both his father and his brother were currently trapped in a coma. Dean even had a tube down his throat because he couldn't breathe on is own. He himself wasn't exactly unharmed either, but he was upright and functioning. Something that could not be said about the rest of his family. A concussion and some scrapes and bruises would not keep him from his badly hurt family, no matter what the doctors and nurses said about the risks he was taking with his health. He didn't really care about that. But Sam's stomach clenched when he remembered the doctor's words about his family from less than an hour ago:

" _There isn't much we can do. I know you don't want to hear this, and I don't really want to say it, but the odds of either of them waking up are very, very small. Your father might have slightly better chances, but even if he does wake up, he'll probably be paralysed. And your brother. Well, in the highly unlikely event of him waking up there is a high risk of brain damage. He had lost too much blood when he was brought in. I'm sorry."_

He was going to lose his only remaining family. And there was nothing he could do. Sam felt hot tears sting behind his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. Neither Dean nor their dad were dead yet. He wouldn't give up on them so soon. They were, after all, the strongest men Sam knew. The doctor talked a lot about "probably" and "unlikely" and "odds". But not once did he say "definitely". And he didn't know Sam's family and their stubbornness. His brother and dad could beat this.

"But what if they can't? What will you do, all alone?", Sam's mind whispered traitorously.

Sam shook his head. That wouldn't happen. It couldn't. He wouldn't let it. No matter the cost.

* * *

By the time the sun came up the next day, Dean's heart had stopped beating four times and their dad had stopped breathing on his own. Sam couldn't stand the thought of losing them. He had searched for someone or something to save them the whole night, but there was nothing. His remaining family members were dying and he couldn't find anything that would stop it. Sam felt lost and scared. He felt as if he was suffocating in misery. There had to be something he could do!

With a sigh he looked at Dean. Sitting next to his brother's still form seemed to be the only thing Sam could do. "What am I supposed to do now, Dean?", he whispered. There was of course no answer. With a sigh Sam stood up. Luckily for him the next library was within easy walking distance to the hospital. He had stayed there for the night and now planned to return and continue his search. He had to find a way to save Dean. Even if it was the last thing he ever did.

That thought made Sam stop short for a moment. Not because he didn't mean it. He had never meant anything this much. His brother was his world and if Sam's death could save Dean there was no question what Sam would do. And maybe, just maybe, he had just found a way to save his family. If he played this right, both his brother and their dad would soon be perfectly alright.

* * *

Two hours later Sam stood in the hospital's basement, preparing to make a deal with the devil.

* * *

 **AN: Not very long, I know. Future chapters will hopefully be a bit longer.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Enjoy and please tell me what you think.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 2

When Dean woke up, there was something in his throat. Because of that, the first thing he did was to choke. Moments later he dimly heard someone entering the room. Shortly after that someone began talking to him, trying to calm him down.

"Calm down. Everything is ok. You're safe. That tube is there to help you breathe. You had a very rough couple of days. Just be calm. The doctor will be here soon."

So he was in a hospital. But where was Sammy? What had happened? Dean concentrated on his memories instead of the intrusion in his throat.

He remembered the cabin. His father possessed by that yellow-eyed bastard. Pain. Dad asking Sammy to shoot him. Dean pleading with Sam not to. The demon escaping. Sammy getting them to the Impala and towards the next hospital. Dad and Sammy arguing. The head-lights of a semi. And then nothing.

Dammit, what had happened? Where was his little brother?

Dean only half-listened to his doctor while he rambled on about miracles and odds and "incredible occurrences".

"Where's my brother? And our father?", he snapped at the baffled doctor.

"I believe your brother is already up and about. Your father on the other hand. Well, he needs a miracle just as much as you did.", the doctor answered somewhat reluctantly.

Dean was just about to ask what that was supposed to mean, when Sammy came into the room.

"Sammy!"

There was a look of utter relief on his baby brother's face so profound that Dean wasn't quite sure what to think about it. On the one hand it meant his brother cared, on the other it also implied a few rather hellish hours for Sam.

"How are you feeling, Dean?", Sam asked. The doctor had left rather soon after assuring them that Dean was in perfect health.

"Good. In fact, I feel too good. I remember that yellow-eyed freak tearing into my chest, Sam. But there's nothing. No pain, no discomfort, no scars. How is that even possible?"

Sam just shrugged. He didn't seem overly concerned with the how. That confused Dean. Usually his brother needed to know everything about anything.

But before Dean could comment on Sammy's weird behavior someone knocked on the door.

* * *

When John opened his eyes, he immediately knew something was wrong. Not because he was once again in a hospital and apparently needed assistance in order to breathe. No, there was something else. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something just seemed off. Wrong.

John pondered this while the tube was removed from his throat. He thought about it while the doctor and the nurses told him how utterly unexpected the current situation was and he mulled it over while they told him more about his and his boys' conditions.

When they finally left with the promise to return for further tests, John very carefully stood up. He needn't have bothered with being careful. He felt fine. Not even the bullet wound in his leg hurt. And wasn't that just the strangest thing.

John shook his head. He could contemplate the weirdness of his situation after checking in on his sons. He needed to make sure that they were okay.

Finding them turned out to not be a big problem. The whole hospital was talking about John and Dean and their miraculous recoveries.

Nervously, he stood outside of Dean's room for a moment. What if they didn't want to see him? He had allowed that yellow-eyed bastard to hurt Dean. He had asked the impossible of Sam. He still thought his son should have taken the shot, but he understood that he should never have asked his baby boy to kill him.

"Get a grip, Winchester!", he mumbled to himself before knocking.

* * *

Sam warily opened the door. But the moment he saw John his whole demeanor changed.

"Dad! What are you doing here? Are you alright? Come in and sit down. You probably shouldn't be up, should you?"

"Calm down, son. I'm fine. Just woke up and felt perfectly alright.", John said calmly. His gaze went to Dean. "Are you alright?"

"Better than I have any right to be.", Dean answered with a slight shake of his head.

John nodded. It was the same with him.

"I'm just glad you two are alright. For a while there I was kinda scared you'd leave me on my own.", Sam said with a somewhat forced looking smile.

"Not gonna to happen, bitch.", Dean grinned.

"Jerk."

John couldn't help but smile at the scene. His boys were alright. The demon might have escaped, but Sammy wasn't wrong. They could still beat the bastard on another day.

John looked up at his younger son. He opened his mouth to say something, but then he saw the look on Sammy's face. Beneath the smile he could see desperation, relief and fear. But something about it felt wrong. As if Sam wasn't afraid of losing them, at least not any more, but of something else.

"Sam? Are you alright?", John asked in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

Sam smiled warmly at him. "Yeah. I'm fine, Dad. And I know I haven't always been and done what you wanted, but I love you. And you, Dean. I really love you, bro. I just want you to know that. And I'm sorry about all the fighting we always end up doing, Dad."

"Ok, you big girl, enough chick flick.", Dean groused. He was trying to hide the tears his brother's words had brought to his eyes. Sam simply laughed.

But John felt unsure. Something about the way Sam had just spoken set him on edge.

"You sure you're alright?", he inquired once again.

Sam just nodded and forced what was probably supposed to be a cheerful smile.

"I'm going to get some coffee, see you later.", the youngest Winchester said and quickly ducked out of the room.

"Well, that was weird.", Dean said with raised eyebrows, "Wonder what his problem is."

"I don't know. But it worries me.", John admitted unhappily.

* * *

"Dammit!", Sam swore.

He hadn't intended to say what he did. It was true, sure. But it was also bound to set off alarm clocks in the older men's heads. As a Winchester you didn't just use the l-word. You found ways to show how you felt and used insults as terms of endearment. But what was done, or in this case said, was done. Nothing he could do to change it.

Sam leant back against the wall of the cold hospital hallway he stood in. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was scared. Of course he was scared. He had sold his soul to a demon. And not just any demon. He opened his eyes again. He had made his choice. And he didn't regret it. If this was what it took to save his family he was okay with it.

Getting the demon to agree to save both his father and brother had been difficult, but Sam had always been good with words. Of course, in exchange he would have to die. Now.

"I'm ready.", Sam said to the empty hallway. Not that he really was. How could one possibly be ready for Hell?


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to thank XXXTITANIA SCARLETXXX, StyxxsOmega, Ruby(Guest), Souless666, franjane91 and pottyandweezlbe89 for their reviews. Also thank you to everyone who follows and/or favorited the story.**

 **To clarify: In canon the events so far could never have transpired. Sam would have never ended up in hell at this point of time. I know that. But this story is AU. Some characters are OCC. Some plans do not exist the way they did in the show. Some people's intentions are different. These differences will become more obvious and will be better explained as the story progresses (hopefully). (I hope that clears up some of your confusion, _Souless666._ )**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 3

One week later at Bobby's

Seven days had gone by since hospital staff had found Sam's still body in one of the many white, cold hallways. A long torturous week. John sat with a whiskey bottle or two on Bobby's veranda. It was close to midnight and anything but a warm night. But John didn't feel the cold. He just felt numb and hollow. He had a theory as to what had happened after the accident, but he didn't dare share it with his son. If Sam had done what John thought he had it would devastate the older brother.

"You ever gonna tell me what the hell is going in?", Bobby's rough voice cut through the frigid air.

"I'd rather not.", John mumbled drunkenly.

"John." There was an unmistakable warning in in Bobby's tone.

"Yellow-eyes possessed me. Hurt Dean. Sam shot me in the leg to break its hold. Didn't want to kill it if that meant killing me. Drove us towards the hospital. Got rammed by a semi. Dean and I nearly died. Then were suddenly all better. And then Sammy, who wasn't hurt nearly as badly, suddenly died."

John tried to sound annoyed and threatening, but towards the end his voice cracked and he couldn't hold the tears back anymore.

"I think he made a deal.", he whispered despairingly.

Bobby looked at him sharply. "A deal? As in his soul for your lifes?", he asked disbelievingly.

John nodded sadly.

Bobby leant back against the wall of his house. He suddenly looked years older than only moment before. He couldn't even find the energy to swear at what he now knew.

"He doesn't deserve Hell.", John murmured morosely.

For a while the two men were silent, both looking out into the cold, clear night.

"He said he loved me. And that he was sorry for our fights. I didn't answer. I should have told him that I'm sorry, too. That I love him. I can't remember the last time I told him that.", John whispered with tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat.

Bobby stayed quite while tears ran down his bearded cheeks.

* * *

Dean wasn't stupid. People often said that Sam was the smart one out of the two of them. That assessment was not entirely wrong. But it still didn't mean that Dean was stupid. He knew what his father thought Sammy had done. He thought the same thing. And he was pretty sure that they were right.

"Why would you do something like that, Sammy? We're not worth such a sacrifice.", Dean whispered through his tears.

Sam would probably object to that. But Sam wasn't there. He wasn't there because he was dead and he was dead because he sold his soul to save Dean and their father and that also meant that Sammy – Dean's sweet, innocent, wonderful baby brother whom he had sworn to always protect – was in Hell.

Dean closed his eyes. It was already past midnight, but he couldn't sleep. Hadn't been quite able to sleep properly ever since _that day_. How could he sleep knowing what he did about his brother's fate? Especially when all of it was his fault?

He should have been able to protect Sammy. He should have realized that their dad wasn't their dad sooner. He shouldn't have antagonized the demon as much as he had. He should have been stronger.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy.", Dean sobbed quietly.

* * *

Bobby didn't know what to do. One of the boys he loved like his own had presumably sold his soul to save his brother and father from death. And now he had two depressed Winchesters on his hands. John might think that Dean didn't know about Sam's sacrifice, but Bobby knew the now youngest Winchester well enough to be sure that he had long since figured out what had most likely happened in that hospital.

Bobby sighed. John was right. Sam really did not deserve to rot in Hell. But there wasn't anything they could do about it. The only ones who got into and out of Hell were demons and even they were supposed to have trouble with the 'out'-part.

Sam didn't sacrifice his life and soul for Dean and John to mope around. He had wanted them to live. And Bobby was going to do everything in his power to make sure they did live. But he might need a little help with that. Winchesters were after all the most stubborn people in this or any other world. But Bobby knew just the person who might be able to get through to them. John would probably not be happy to see the person Bobby had in mind, but he would just have to suck it up.

* * *

Two days later

"Thank you for coming, Ellen.", Bobby said.

They were standing outside of the scrap yard so they couldn't be seen by John or Dean.

It was a sunny day. Ellen's long brown hair moved slightly with the light breeze.

"You wanna explain to me what's so important? You said something about John and his boys?", Ellen asked brusquely.

Bobby nodded and sighed. He gave Ellen the short version of the events of the last year or so. It was harder than he had thought, talking about Sam and Dean together on the road searching for their father. Sam, who was in Hell and Dean, who could never be completely whole again without his brother.

By the end of Bobby's narrative, Ellen's eyes were slightly watery.

"Foolish, brave boy.", she said in a slightly softer voice than usually.

Bobby nodded. "Neither John nor Dean are taking the situation particularly well. Dean refuses to talk to me and John just keeps drinking like he's afraid of getting even close to sober. I don't know what to do with them. But Sam didn't sacrifice everything so those two could mope around and feel guilty.", Bobby explained in a tired and sad voice.

Ellen nodded in understanding. "So we've got to get them up again. Back to living. Well, let's not just stand around! We got work to do. Move it, old man."

Bobby laughed softly and together they walked towards the house.

"John doesn't know you're coming. Neither does Dean. I'm actually not sure if the boy even knows who you are.", Bobby warned.

"I'd be surprised if he did.", Ellen answered shortly with a tight smile.

* * *

"Ellen. What are you doing here?", John said, surprised and still slightly drunk.

"Come to talk to your lazy ass.", she answered with a grim expression on her face.

The two of them stood in Bobby's kitchen. John with a half full bottle of whiskey in his hand and Ellen with a disapproving look on her face.

Bobby had gone to get Dean and hoped that by the time he came back the worst would be over.

"My son just died.", John snapped. Sudden anger was welling up in him, chasing away the grief and guilt for a short moment.

"I heard.", Ellen answered seemingly dispassionately.

They were silent for some time. John tried desperately to hide his feelings behind his usual walls but it all just seemed so pointless. These walls were the reason for his failure to tell his younger son what he meant to him. So instead he let the tears freely flow down his cheeks.

"I failed him.", he whispered.

"The way I see it, he made a choice. To save you and your other son. So you could live. And by living I don't mean drowning yourself in alcohol and locking yourself away.", Ellen told him matter-of-factly.

John sniffed. "I don't know how. How can I go on living knowing he's in Hell because of me?"

Ellen just looked at him for a moment.

"I can't simply go on living.", Dean said. He and Bobby entered the kitchen slowly.

Dean didn't look good. He hadn't washed in about a week, hadn't really slept in even longer. But there was a glint in his eyes. A maniacal light that honestly worried Ellen.

"But I can go on searching. I can find that son-of-a-bitch and kill him. And while I do that I can look for ways in and out of Hell. And then I can get my brother back.", Dean said passionately.

"You know how unlikely it is that you'll find something to get your brother out, right?", Ellen said cautiously.

Dean nodded. The glint in his eyes dimmed a little, but didn't go out. "I still have to try. For Sammy.", he told her quietly, almost pleading with her to understand.

"Then I'll help you with that. I'm sure Ash and Jo would be delighted to help, too. If there is anything out there that can save Sam, together we'll find it.", Ellen said.

"What about you, Dad? Gonna help?", Dean asked.

John just nodded a bit helplessly. "Of course.", he promised, voice rough from the alcohol.

"Would you like to come to the Roadhouse with me? We have enough spare beds and we really should get Ash in on this.", Ellen said after a few moments of silence.

"Let's go.", Dean said calmly.

Bobby looked them all over. Four humans, attempting the impossible. Six, probably, if Ellen was right about Ash and Jo. He didn't quite believe that they would find something to help Sam, but maybe Dean would find a new reason to live along the way. One could only hope.

* * *

 **Please tell me what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed (I totally love you), follows or favorited this story.**

 **Ruby(Guest): Of course I don't mind you telling me what you think! I think it's great that you are invested enough in this story to come up with some ideas. I want to know them! Won't always be able to use everything my wonderful readers suggest, but I would/will certainly always think about** **it. Thank you for your interest. I'm afraid this particular idea won't make it into the story (I have a vague outline of what I want to happen and this doesn't quite fit in with it), but I still loved reading about it! If you (or anyone else) have (has) any other ideas, please tell me!**

 **I will incorporate some canon events into this fic. There are going to be many differences for example in how they find the hunts and what exactly happens (without Sam everything is different) as well as with the timeline, but the basic plot will in some cases be very similar.**

 **Please tell me what you think.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 4

The journey to the Roadhouse was quiet. Dean was actually sleeping. Now that he had sort of a plan of action, one that included helping Sammy, he was finally able to rest.

John didn't quite see how their decision changed anything. It was extremely unlikely that they would be able to find a way to get his younger son out of Hell. And even if there was one, how long would it take to find it? What would Sam have had to endure by the time they figured something out? Would he even still be their baby boy? He couldn't see that happening. He couldn't believe that they would get Sammy back. But he would help, for Dean's sake. And because Ellen was right. Sam wouldn't have wanted them to give up and drown their failure in alcohol.

Meeting Jo and Ash was something different. Ash was some sort of laid-back super-genius. Jo looked like a sweet young girl, but she wasn't her mother's daughter for nothing. Dean decided he'd rather not upset either of the two Harvelle women.

Ash promised to come up with a computer program that would be able to alert them to any demonic activities anywhere in the states. Jo offered to assist with the research about Hell. Dean didn't quite know whether he should be thankful for the help or feel uncomfortable with it.

* * *

The next few weeks were spent researching. Bobby asked other hunters what they knew about Hell, Dean and Jo made one- and two-day trips to the closest libraries, and John searched out libraries, archives and private collections that were farther away from the Roadhouse. So far they had found nothing. Despite Dean's general aversion to talking about his feelings, Jo managed to get him to tell her about Sam. He wasn't quite sure what about the slim blonde it was that made him open up to her, but it almost felt good to tell someone about his brillant little brother. Thinking about him still hurt, and talking even more so, but it also gave him the feeling that he was keeping a part of Sam alive.

One day Bobby took Dean aside to talk about his new timetable of research and nothing else. "You can't stay cooped up forever, Dean. Go out, take a hunt, do something."

Dean wanted to object, say that he had to find a way to save Sammy, but he knew that Bobby was right. Only doing research all day wasn't doing him any favors. He needed to do something.

"We can go on a hunt somewhere together. Check the local libraries for anything useful about Hell and safe a few lifes along the way.", John suggested.

Dean nodded reluctantly. It was probably for the best.

"I have something for you that might or might not be an actual hunt.", Ellen offered.

All eyes turned expectantly to her.

"An old friend of mine works as a gardener on a graveyard. He knows a little something about the supernatural, but he never hunted. Anyways, he noticed something weird about a fresh grave. Every plant in a perfect circle around this grave is dead. He's a bit spooked about it and has asked if I could send someone to take a look. What do you say?"

* * *

John and Dean decided to drive separately. Dean couldn't stand to drive with anyone but Sam in the Impala and to him leaving her behind was no option either. It was impractical, and costly, but Dean needed it, so John refrained from saying anything.

They also took two rooms. They both needed space after everything that had happened in the las few months. Working together again would be a challenge, probably more so for John than for Dean. But they would manage. For now they could meet in one room to talk and then get out of each others space.

"The gardener said she was buried about two weeks ago. She died in a car accident. Not really vengeful spirit material, especially not enough for this sort of reaction from the soil.", Dean mused.

"Guess we gotta find out more about the girl. Any friends or relatives nearby?", John asked.

"Father teaches at the local college. She had a roommate called Lindsey and a boyfriend named Matt.", Dean answered. "I could go to the father, tell him I was friends with his daughter and you talk to the boyfriend as a grief counselor or something."

John nodded. That was a good plan. "In three hours back here?", he proposed.

* * *

The meeting with Angela's father was rather awkward. Dean usually had Sam around to take care of all the touchy-feely stuff. But Sam was in Hell and Dean couldn't think about that right now. After all, he had a mystery to figure out. And Sammy would probably kick his ass if Dean screwed up a hunt because he was depressed over his death.

When Dean returned to the motel, John was already waiting for him. "The boyfriend is dead. Apparently slit his own throat during the night. But here's the thing: Any an all plants in his apartment were dead, just like around Angela's grave. Hell, even his goldfish was dead. Something's definitely going on here."

Dean nodded. Yes, something was going on. If only they knew what exactly.

"The dad didn't give me anything useful. Girl seems to have been perfect. But maybe her father just doesn't know his kid as well as he thinks he does."

"Let's talk to the roommate then, shall we?"

* * *

According to Lindsey, Angela had been "great, just great". She didn't say much else, apparently torn up over the deaths of her roommate and her roommate's boyfriend.

Dean swiped Angela's journal while they visited her roommate, so the trip wasn't entirely pointless.

"I believe there is someone else we should talk to.", he announced.

John looked intrigued. "Whom?"

"Her best friend, Neil. She mentions him a lot."

John nodded. "Let's go see him then."

* * *

From Neil they learned that Matt had cheated on Angela and that Angela's despair over this had been the reason for her death. Now they had a motive for her to become a vengeful spirit. Which meant that they had to burn her bones.

"Only it won't be bones, but a rotting corpse.", Dean grumbled. John wasn't exactly happy about that either, but it had to be done.

Or so he thought until they opened the coffin. And found Angela to be missing. The paper they found inside the coffin led them back to her father, where John lost his composure for a moment.

"I get what you're going through, believe me, I get it. But you can't play around with life and death like that. It's dangerous. What's dead should stay dead.", he snapped at the indignant, grieving man.

* * *

"So I overreacted. So what?", John snapped at his son.

Dean had barely managed to convince his father to leave Mr. Mason after he had called the police.

"You didn't just overreact! You acted without sufficient evidence! The plants at his place are fine and he's genuinely grieving! And we gotta talk about that "What's dead should stay dead" stuff later.", Dean shot back.

John was about to open his mouth to continue the argument, but Dean just shook his head.

"I think it's Neil."

That stopped John short. "That kid? Why would you think that?"

"Couse I think he was in love with her. And he's Mason's TA."

It turned out that Neil had indeed been the one who brought Angela back. John and Dean managed to save Lindsey, whom Matt had cheated with, from Angela and found a way to put her back to rest.

* * *

"What did you mean?", Dean asked the next day.

John looked at him confusedly. "With what?"

" "What's dead should stay dead." You didn't mean we should stop trying to to find a way to save Sammy, did you?"

"I – No, of course not. I meant – Dean, neither of us is actually supposed to be alive. Sammy brought us back for a terrible price, and – and he shouldn't have done that.", John fumbled for words to explain what he felt.

"Because we aren't worth such a sacrifice. I know. I think the same thing. But Sammy did what he did. We can't change that. The only thing we can do is find a way to get him back.", Dean murmured in answer.

"What if we can't bring Sammy back? What if we try and something like this happens to him? What if he's not himself anymore? Could you put him down if it came to that?"

"That's not going to happen. It's not. We're going to get Sammy back. My baby brother. Not some weird, fucked-up version of him. You hear me?", Dean hissed in distress.

John sighed. Dean wasn't ready to look at the facts yet. But sooner or later he would have to. The chances of getting any part of Sam back were small. The odds of getting all of their Sammy back were practically nonexistent. And Dean would have to accept that some day. But maybe not yet. Maybe not today.

* * *

Back at the Roadhouse, Ellen and Bobby sat in companionable silence. Business was slow, and Ellen was curious about something.

"So.", she said eventually.

Bobby just looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"You gonna tell me more about Sam?", she asked.

"What do you want to know? Although I have to to warn you. Haven't seen him much in the last couple years so I don't know everything.", he asked hoarsely.

"Just tell me about him.", Ellen requested.

"He's an intelligent kid. Sometimes too intelligent. Was always difficult to keep things from him. And stubborn. Even more so than John, if that's possible. Went to Stanford against his daddy's will. Full ride. Wouldn't let John stop him. He – he's strong. Stronger than his family wants to admit. Dean was always scared that Sam wouldn't need him anymore some day. But that's stupid. Because even if Sam doesn't strictly speaking need Dean, he'll always want him around enough for it to almost be a need. And that's much more than an actual physical need would be.

Anyways, Sam's smart, and stubborn, and strong, but he's also ridiculously compassionate. He was a good kid, Ellen. And he deserves a lot better than he got.", Bobby said quietly, desperately trying to hold back tears.

"Why did he go back to hunting?", Ellen asked. She hadn't known about Stanford.

"Dean asked for help with the search for their daddy. And then the demon that killed Mary killed Sammy's girlfriend Jessica. He might have tried to deny it for most of his life, but Sam can be a lot like John.", Bobby told her with a slight upward quirk of his lips.

Ellen nodded. "If there is anything out there that could help him we'll find it, Bobby.", she reminded him.

"I know. I just doubt that there is anything.", he answered hopelessly.

* * *

 **AN: I wanted to include the whole "What's dead should stay dead"-reasoning, that the episode "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" 2 04 introduced. However I couldn't see John and Dean visiting Mary's grave at this point of time, and there is the whole trying-to-get-Sam-out-of-Hell thing and nothing quite fit, so I changed some things a bit. Or a lot. Hope it's not too boring.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everybody who reviewed this story, as well as to everyone who follows and/or favorited it.**

 **erimoon: I'm afraid it's going to be a few more chapters before we find out what exactly has been happening to Sam. Am I revealing too much by saying this? If I am I'm sorry. Anyways, it will be some time before we see him again.**

 **Souless666: Thank you so much! I wasn't entirely sure if I had managed to include the episode in a way that fit and furthered the story. It makes me very happy that you think I did a good job with it. Thanks.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 5

The next few weeks flew by in a similar pattern. The Winchesters often stayed at the Roadhouse for long periods of time. Dean researched Hell on and in between the occasional hunt he went on with his father. John sometimes went on solo-hunts, but never Dean. The younger Winchester was too preoccupied with trying to find something that would help his brother. So far he hadn't found anything, other than a suggestion that angels, of all things, might be able to free souls from Hell. Not very helpful, seeing as Dean didn't believe in angels. Or god. Or any sort of benevolent higher power.

Whenever John wasn't hunting, he tended to be drunk. Dean wasn't surprised and neither was anyone else. Drinking was, after all, John's default reaction to everything. He still tried his best to support Dean with his research. He also still searched for the yellow-eyed demon with the same fervor as ever.

Bobby occasionally came by, but he didn't have any news either.

Dean did not let the lack of success deter him. Hunters had believed for practically ever that once a soul was trapped in Hell there was no way out. Which meant that the information he was searching for must be difficult to find and old. It wasn't surprising that he wouldn't be able to unearth it fast. The lack of progress still scared and annoyed him, of course. He had no idea what was happening to his brother, but he could guess that it wasn't good. And the longer it took Dean to find a way out for his brother the longer Sam was stuck in who knew what circumstances. It scared Dean to think about what his brother might be going through.

Jo still helped him with the research, but lately she had become restless. She tried to convince her mother to let he go out hunting every other day, but Ellen was resolutely against this idea. The two women often fought over the topic, and Dean did his best to not be around whenever that happened. The Harvelles could be more terrifying than any monster he had ever met.

* * *

"I found a case.", John announced one day.

"Yeah? What?", Dean replied absentmindedly.

"Possibly a black dog. Architect called Sean Boyden fell from a roof. Had called animal control about a big black dog two days beforehand. Thing is, nobody other than him saw or heard the damn thing.", John explained, "You wanna come with me o this one?" There was a hopeful undertone in his voice. He wanted to spend more time with his remaining son. But between hunts, drinking and research there wasn't much time left just for the two of them. He was also concerned that Dean still didn't seem to be any closer to accepting that Sam was gone for good.

Dean stayed quiet for a moment. He didn't want to go on a hunt. He wanted to finally find a way to save his baby brother. Then again, he really should spend a bit more time with his father. Life was short after all. And a break might be good for him. Researching Hell wasn't exactly a pleasant task. Especially if someone you cared about was there. Some descriptions were so gory that Dean couldn't bring himself to actually fully read them. And those he did read were starting to affect his sleep.

"Okay. Let's go.", he agreed.

They still took two cars whenever they went out on a hunt together. They did however usually take one room the way Sam and Dean used to. It was strategically better and safer. The split up more often during a hunt than the two brothers would have, but both father and son were alright with that.

"I'll go talk to animal control. Can you take Boyden's business partner?", John said. Dean nodded his assent.

"See you in a few hours.", the younger man mumbled before leaving.

* * *

Several hours and leads later they found out the chilling truth about what was going on: Ten years ago George Darrow had summoned a Crossroad Demon to make a deal. The demon stayed around afterward and made deals with other people, for example Sean Boyden and the surgeon Silvia Pearlman, who were both dead by now. But according to Darrow there had been another person who made a deal: Evan Hudson. Darrow had also given them a new way to combat, or at least temporarily protect themselves from the hellhounds, goofer dust.

Now John was on his way to the crossroads. The plan was to coerce the demon into freeing Evan from his contract. Dean had been adamant that they had to help the man after finding out that he had sold his soul to save his wife. Before that piece of information had come to light, Dean had been mostly of the same mind as John: that these people had dug their own graves and didn't deserve their sympathy or help. But after hearing Evan's story he refused to just let this go. And John didn't want his only remaining son anywhere near a Crossroad Demon. So he had volunteered to go to the crossroads while Dean tried to protect Evan from the hounds.

John guessed Dean's change of heart had something to do with Sam. He probably saw more parallels than was healthy between Evan and his brother.

John sighed. It didn't really matter right now. He had a job to do. Talking to Dean would have to wait for the time being.

* * *

Summoning the demon felt strange. He was a hunter. He didn't make bargains with these creatures, he exorcised or, whenever possible, killed them.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't John Winchester. A hunter summoning a demon. Doesn't happen nearly often enough.", a soft female voice said behind him. When he turned around, there stood a young woman with dark brown hair wearing a short black dress. Her eyes glowed in an eerie shade of red for a moment, before turning to a more natural looking chocolate brown.

John swallowed. He didn't have all that much experience with demons usually having had Jim Murphy or Bobby with him when he had to deal with one. Being this close to one of hell's creatures made him uncomfortable.

"Now, what do you want? I could give you anything. Well, nearly anything. There are some rules, you know.", she said with a smile.

"Let's walk a bit, shall we?", John asked nervously.

She laughed. "If you insist." Her movements were smooth and her voice surprisingly pleasant.

"How did you know who I am? And I don't mean my name, but that I am a hunter.", John wanted to know.

"Oh, but everybody knows about the Winchesters. Until a few months ago most of us knew about you because of your crusade against the yellow-eyed demon, as you call him. Nowadays we know more about sweet little Sammy, of course.", she answered, her voice gaining a sinister quality.

"Sammy?", John whispered, momentarily surprised.

"You know that he sold his soul and yet your it surprises you that a demon like me would know about him? He's in Hell, Johnny. Of course I know.", she said and something almost like pity colored her voice.

John was tempted to ignore her and just leave. But he had promised Dean to do his best to save Evan and his son would never forgive him if he failed now. So instead he kept walking alongside the demon, subtly steering them towards the place he wanted her to be.

"Do you know what that means, John? Being in Hell? But no, of course not. After all, you've long since given up on poor Sammy, haven't you? To you, he's dead. And what's dead should stay dead, right?", she asked, her soft tone of voice a direct contrast to her cutting remarks.

John stayed quiet. He didn't know what to say to this. She wasn't wrong, after all. He did think like that. Not because he didn't love his son. Not because he didn't want something better than Hell for him.

"But you tell yourself it's because you fear what he will become. That bringing him back is unnatural and will have problematic consequences. That it isn't possible to bring someone back without some major drawback. And who knows. Maybe you're right. But I don't think that's the reason you don't want to get him out of Hell. I think you're reason is far more selfish and has something to do with Dean.", she said with an evil glint in her eyes.

"No.", John said strongly, "If you are insinuating that I don't want him back because he's closer to Dean than I could ever hope to be, you are wrong!"

"But I didn't say that. You did.", she remarked softly.

"You're messing with my head.", he accused.

"Am I?" The demon seemed amused. John just glared at her angrily.

They had now reached some sort of small pavilion. John paced in front of it while the demon sat down in the old building.

"He's in pain, you know? It's Hell, after all. Still fighting not to scream most of the time. But it's a losing battle. Poor Sammy. Tortured for his oh so precious family and his father can't even be bothered to honestly search for a way to save him.", the demon said smiling. She seemed to enjoy the situation a lot.

John's jaw clenched at that, but he refrained from saying anything on that particular topic. Or punching the demon in the face.

"This is not the reason I'm here.", he snapped, "I'm here because of Evan Hudson. Release him from his contract and we can part ways."

"Oh John. I can't just release him from that. It's a binding contract. Nothing in this life is without a price and he has to pay up now." Again there was something pitying in her tone. Like she thought John was being particularly stupid.

"Oh, really?", he asked annoyed.

"Yes.", she answered smiling sweetly.

"Well, I suggest you rethink your position on that topic.", he said smugly and looked up at the pavilion's roof where he had painted a devil's trap.

When the demon realized that she was trapped an ugly look crossed her face before she got her facial expression back under control.

"And what exactly is that supposed to do? Unlike you I have literally forever time.", she said in a sickly sweet tone.

"Yeah? Well, I can always exorcise you. I have the feeling that most of you don't exactly like being send back to Hell.", John said pleasantly.

"I honestly can't free that guy from his contract.", the demon screeched sounding somewhat desperate.

"Too bad.", John answered unimpressed and started the exorcism.

After only the first few verses the demon interrupted him.

"Wait! A deal! Evan's soul is free if you free me from this trap and let me go!", she gasped.

John looked at her for a moment. He was tempted to just keep going but he had promised Dean.

"Alright."

"It has to be sealed with a kiss. Like every deal.", she told him a bit out of breath. These exorcisms seemed to be rather painful for demons.

"Okay. Its your freedom in exchange for Evan's.", John agreed carefully and then moved in to let her kiss him.

When he freed her she swiftly moved past him before turning around.

"You now, with a resolve like that you might actually be able to find a way to help your son. Too bad that you've already given up on the poor kid.", she said before vanishing.

John looked at the place the demon had just stood in for another second and then turned away. When he did so he came face to face with his older son.

"What did she mean by that?", Dean asked accusingly.

* * *

Dean had been worried. So after explaining to Evan how to protect himself he followed his father to the crossroads. He stayed hidden in the shadows while watching them. Only when the demons expression told him that his father had succeeded did he get out of his car and walk towards them. When he got into hearing distance the demon was still talking.

"... actually be able to find a way to help your son. Too bad that you've already given up on the poor kid.", he heard her say acidly. Then she disappeared.

His father just stood there for a moment before turning around. Dean only just had time to see John's surprised face before he turned his face around slightly so his father wouldn't be able to read him as easily.

"What did she mean by that?", he asked trying to hold back tears of betrayal.

John remained silent.

"Dad? Is that demon right? Have you given up on Sam?", Dean repeated angrily.

"Dean.", John sighed.

"Seriously?" Dean didn't know what to feel. This was horrible. His father didn't want to save Sammy anymore. Maybe he had never wanted to. It felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart. Dean couldn't understand this betrayal. It just didn't make sense. How could his father do that to him? How could he just give up on Sam?

Before either of them could say anything else, John's phone rang. He turned around to answer.

"Yeah. Great. Just turn around and run away from the question. That's helpful.", Dean mumbled to himself sarcastically.

Then he took out his own phone to check up on Evan. As it turned out it had been an extremely close call for him. Nevertheless he was fine. Dean was happy about that. Of course he was aware of the fact that it hadn't really been Evan he had wanted to save. He knew that the man's self-sacrificing decision reminded him of his brother's and that saving Evan seemed to make up a tiny little bit for not being able to do the same for Sam.

"Ellen needs our help. Jo is missing.", John's voice cut through Deans reflections.

"What?", he asked flabbergasted.

"Apparently Jo went on a hunt. And now she's missing.", John answered, concern clearly evident in his voice, "We have to leave immediately."

"Of course.", Dean answered readily.

* * *

 **I borrowed from the episode "Crossroads Blues" 2 08 for this chapter.**

 **Please tell me what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to Ruby, StyxxsOmega and pottyandweezlbe89 for their reviews for the last chapter. Also thank you to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **This chapter is a bit on the short side. Sorry about that.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 6

Jo had had enough. She was an adult, for heaven's sake! She could make her own decisions! And she could hunt, no matter what her mother thought of it. She just wanted to feel closer to her dead father, dammit! Was that so difficult to understand?

No matter. She would just do it her way. Ash was always very easily talked into helping her. And she could do research all by herself just fine.

She had found what looked to be an easy case in a town in Minnesota. A couple years ago a man presumably drowned in the creek that separates the town from an old forest. His body disappeared. The police suspected a crime, but nothing was ever proven. The body was found a few years later. But now people hiking in the forest kept vanishing without a trace. Jo suspected that the man's spirit was responsible. It made sense: He had disappeared, now others disappeared. She wasn't entirely sure why the spirit would be so fixated on the forest. It was something she would have to research when she actually got to the town.

Escaping the Roadhouse was easy. She left her mother a note saying that she was visiting an old friend from school. Jo had never liked school, and most kids at school hadn't liked her, but she had made a friend or two over the years. Ash had promised not to breath a word of her true plan, as long as she agreed to text him every day. The day she didn't, he would tell Ellen everything. He also insisted on her leaving a copy of her research behind. Jo had reluctantly agreed.

Hitching a ride with one of their regulars that she trusted enough for this was also easy. Later hot-wiring a car proved a bit more difficult, but still manageable.

* * *

The town was small and rather boring. Apart from the disappearing hikers, few of which were locals, there was literally nothing going on.

Two days after she arrived she had seemingly talked to everyone her potential vengeful spirit had ever known. The body had been found in the forest. The man had never set foot inside it while he was alive. In fact most locals avoided the woods at all costs. Nobody could quite explain why. It was just something that 'everybody had always done just like their fathers before them'.

It sounded weird, so Jo decided to look into it. She had brought hiking gear with her anyways. Might as well use it.

* * *

Several hours later Jo knew that she had been wrong. The disappearances were not the work of an angry spirit. The one responsible was some sort of creature Jo wasn't sure she could place correctly. It was fast, had claws, could apparently imitate human voices, and was very tall. From what she knew, she'd say that it was probably a Wendigo. Something that had once been human, but had become a horrible creature after eating human flesh. She didn't know anything else about these beings. What she did know was that she was in big trouble.

The Wendigo had picked her up before she could even process that she had been attacked. Now she was tied up in some sort of cave and tried desperately not to think about the smell of rotting flesh that permeated the air or how scared she was. Instead she concentrated on her bindings and tried to loosen the rope holding her. She was relatively sure that the creature wasn't close by but out hunting unsuspecting campers and hikers.

For a long time, the only thing she managed to do was to chafe her wrists bloody, which scared her even more because she didn't know how well developed her captors sense of smell was. But with the wetness her blood on her wrists provided and a slight loosening of the rope, she eventually managed to slip her hands out of their bindings. The small success nearly made her giddy with relief.

But Jo knew that while she had gotten rid of the rope she was still a long way away from being free. Night was fast approaching and she thought she remembered overhearing a hunter saying to never hunt a Wendigo by night. She couldn't quite remember why but decided that that was irrelevant anyways. It spelled trouble and possibly a rather gory death for her. Thinking too much about it wouldn't change that and simply hinder her.

But what to do now? She knew that Ash would inform her mother soon if he hadn't already and she would either send other hunters after Jo or come herself. Quite possibly both. But that would take time. Time Jo wasn't sure she had. She felt her breathing quicken and hitch. Tears gathered in her eyes and her heart beat erratically. She was shaking all over. Dammit, she couldn't have a panic-attack now!

"Joanna Beth, calm down! Panicking won't help!", she mumbled harshly to herself. She needed a plan. Now.

Running wasn't an option. She didn't know where she was, how far away the town was, or even just how to get out of the damn cave. And the creature was far too fast for that course of action to work anyways.

So hide and wait for rescue it was. "Oh joy.", Jo whispered surly, her heartbeat still too fast and her breath still short.

The cave was so dark, she could barely see anything. She carefully made her way across the part of the cave she was in. When she reached the wall she realized that multiple tunnels led away or to this place. She would have to decide on one and hope she found someplace to hide where possible rescuers could still find her and the Wendigo wouldn't reach her.

"Right. No problem. Just gonna walk and hope for the best."

* * *

 **I'm not quite happy with this chapter. I tried to redo it better, but it just won't work. Gonna have to take it as it is, I'm afraid.**

 **I'm also not really sure about my portrayal of Jo. Was that ok?**

 **I know some of you expected this chapter to be about the episode "No exit" 206. I couldn't quite see John and Dean figuring everything out in time. It was Jo who found out about the prison and Sam who recogniced the name, right? Anyways, I hope this chapter isn't disappointing to you.**

 **Please tell me what you think.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to StyxxsOmega and Ruby for their reviews! Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **I do not own Supernatural**

* * *

Chapter 7

They had probably broken every existing speed limit, and a few other traffic laws, to get to the town Jo had gone missing in as fast as possible. Now Dean and John stared at Jo's research. Ash had emailed them his copies. They had already talked with a few of the locals. Several of them remembered talking to Jo, but nobody could tell them where she went.

"Let me check something.", John murmured with an uneasy undertone in his voice and grabbed the laptop. Dean waited patiently. He knew that his father was great at seeing a bigger picture, at connecting seemingly unrelated incidents with each other. He also knew that John didn't always have the patience to explain what he had seen or what he suspected to the people around him. Sammy had always had a problem with that, seeing it as their father not trusting them or wanting to control them. Which probably actually was part of the reason why John behaved like that, but not the main one.

Dean shook his head. He couldn't think about Sam now. They had to save Jo first. And then he would have to have a talk with his father about what that demon had said. Of course Dean knew that demons lied, but he had seen his father's face. That demon hadn't been entirely wrong. Knowing that his father had given up on their baby boy hurt. But there was nothing he could do about it right now. Not while Jo was still in danger.

"They haven't digitized their old newspapers yet. We're gonna have to take a look at them the old-fashioned way.", John told his son. Dean nodded and they left the motel.

* * *

"I had been afraid of that.", John said, shaking his head slightly. Dean just looked at him questioningly and waited for his father to elaborate.

"This isn't the first time people disappeared in those woods. Around 70 years ago the same thing happened.", he explained tiredly. Looking through all of those old newspapers hadn't exactly been fun and it had taken up the better part of their afternoon.

"So, what are you thinking? Wendigo?", Dean asked, thinking back to one of the first hunts he had gone on with Sam after Stanford. There it had been something close to 70 years between the attacks, too.

"I'm afraid so. But I'm surprised you figured it out that fast. Well done, son.", John answered with an almost-smile.

Dean just nodded. He didn't think he could verbalize that he only realized because he thought so damn much about that one year he'd had with Sam. He always thought about how lost Sam had been after Jessica's death, or how they fought over such pointless things. But he also thought about the good times, when Sammy laughed and they were just being brothers. That also meant remembering all their cases in better detail than usually.

"It's not surprising Jo didn't realize what she was really up against. Wendigo's are fairly rare and her spirit theory was pretty good. Could have easily been right about it.", John murmured quietly.

"We should hurry. We still have a few hours of daylight. We should use them and start searching for its lair.", Dean suggested hurriedly.

"Yeah. The faster we find her the better. Do you have flare guns? I have two in my car.", John agreed.

"There should be a few in the Impala.", Dean answered easily.

* * *

Jo startled awake. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but after what felt like hours of trudging through a pitch-black cave-thing with some sort of monster somewhere nearby she had been exhausted. The plan had been to just sit down for a moment and then continue on in hopes of finding some sort of shelter which the Wendigo wouldn't be able to get into. But apparently she fell asleep instead. And now the creature had found her to be missing. At least she assumed it had. The way it was roaring seemed to indicate some sort of annoyance and she couldn't see what could have put the thing in such a bad mood other than her disappearing act.

Well, that was her cue to get up and keep moving. Or maybe she should wait until the beast left again? She didn't actually know how good the creature's hearing was. In fact she knew next to nothing about its kind.

Jo shook her head. It wouldn't help her at all to keep thinking about what she didn't know, and couldn't do. She needed to keep calm. Help was almost definitely on the way, and a more experienced hunter would probably realize what was really going on. She just needed to hang on until they arrived. She might hate the idea of needing rescue like some damsel in distress, but she could admit that right now she was in way over her head.

Jo sighed. Maybe she should have listened to her mother. But she didn't want to go to college. She didn't want to live a save, apple-pie life far away from hunters and the supernatural. No, she wanted to be like her father. A hunter. Strong, and independent, but also kind and gentle. She wanted to save people from all those things out there they didn't believe in. She wanted to prove herself. And she would. This was just a little hiccup in her plans. Plenty of hunters ended up in dangerous situations and in need of help. It was part of the job. It wasn't unusual to sometimes need help in this business. And she wasn't going to give up on her dreams just because things didn't quite go to plan from the get-go.

Jo nodded to herself. She would get out of this in one piece and then she would continue to hunt.

The creature had gone quiet. Jo wasn't sure if it was gone or had just decided that screaming around wasn't going to bring its prey back.

* * *

"It's going to take forever to search the whole forest.", Dean said.

"Jo doesn't have forever.", John shot back harshly.

"I know that! I just meant, there's only two of us, we have found no information about any sort of underground cave system thing whatsoever and we have no idea where to even start searching!", Dean snapped back.

John didn't answer but simply kept walking. Dean snarled angrily. At times like this, he fully understood why his little brother had always been angry with their father.

The thought felt like a stab to the heart. Most thoughts about his brother did. Sometimes Dean worried that he would have a heart attack if he kept thinking about Sammy as much as he did. But he couldn't stop it. Even now, when he was worried about Jo and focused on finding her, his thoughts still inevitably returned to his baby brother. Sooner or later they always did. And it always hurt. Sometimes more and sometimes less, but never not at all. And he would keep hurting until he could hug his little brother to his chest and do something ridiculously sappy like kiss the top of his head and stroke his girly hair the way he used to when they were younger and Sammy was sick or hurt. Which Sam's height made really difficult to do, not that Dean had had that urge before his brother left him behind to save his life. He didn't do chick-flick moments, dammit. Unless his brother was dead, apparently.

Dean shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about this. They had to find Jo and then they had to kill a Wendigo. There was no time for this right now.

* * *

A few hours later, the sun began to sink beneath the treeline.

"It's starting to get dark. We can't keep going for much longer. Not with a Wendigo around. We need to find a place to stay for the night, where we can draw those symbols and are a bit more sheltered from the wind.", Dean told his father.

"We have to find Jo.", John answered stubbornly.

"We can't help Jo if we're dead, dad! And you know as well as I do that we're no match for a Wendigo by night.", Dean tried to be reasonably.

For a moment, John seemed ready to keep arguing, but then he deflated and reluctantly agreed that trying to hunt a Wendigo at night was mostly just stupid and asking for trouble.

"Have you really already given up on Sam? I mean, I know it's been like half a year or something, but we're searching for really mysterious material here. It's bound to take some time.", Dean rambled after they had sat up camp.

John looked at him with an odd look on his face. After a few moment he opened his mouth to answer, but Dean cut him off before he even said one word.

"You know what? I'm really too tired for this conversation right now. And we have other things to worry about. But we will talk about it, okay? Because I can't accept giving up. Not when it's about Sammy.", Dean hurriedly said before lying down. John just sighed and looked out into the still forest.

* * *

Jo was scared. She didn't know how long she had been trapped in these caves. She didn't know how much longer she would have to wait for rescue. But she did know that time was running out. She was thirsty, hungry, dirty and alone. Utterly alone.

After the Wendigo had fallen quiet again, Jo had waited for a while before she had gotten up and resumed her slow journey trough the dark. Now she felt once again exhausted. She really hoped that somebody would show up to help her soon.

* * *

On the next morning, John and Dean found an entrance to a seemingly large cave-system. They weren't sure if it was actually natural or not, but it looked like the perfect place for the Wendigo's lair. Thankfully enough, most of the tunnels were too small for a creature like the one they were hunting to use. It only took them a few hours to find the cave part where the beast kept its prey until it ate. The bones and left-over flesh lying on the ground were proof for the horrific use of the cave. The monster itself was nowhere to be seen. And neither was Jo.

"Dean. We have to check – I mean we should see if there is anything recognizable about these – bodies.", John said in a carefully controlled voice.

"I'm not so sure we'll have to do that.", Dean answered calmly. He held a flashlight so that it illuminated the wall of one of the tunnels leading away from this particular cave deeper into the ground. There was a stain on that wall that looked a lot like blood.

"Looks like somebody escaped.", Dean said, "And I'm going to believe that it's Jo."

John allowed himself a tentative smile.

* * *

It took another few hours to find the young woman. Jo seemed exhausted and rather happy to see them. But she also insisted that they find and kill the Wendigo before getting her out. So they set out to find it.

In the end it was Jo who fired the killing shot. They had caught up with the beast just outside of the cave. The creature had thrown John into a tree with enough force to knock him unconscious. When it started to advance on Jo, Dean shot at it with his regular gun, because he didn't dare risk the flare with so many trees around. Of course, this made the Weniogo angry. But while it stood in front of Dean, drawn up to its full, impressive height, it gave Jo the perfect possibility to shoot it. Without the risk of setting the forest on fire.

"Well, is it the way you expected it to be? Hunting?", Dean asked her afterwards.

"Not quite. But I think it's worth it.", she answered with a smile.

* * *

 **Please tell me what you think.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to Ruby, StyxxsOmega and Kas3y for the reviews! Your words help a lot to keep me motivated.**

 **I'm afraid it's going to take another few chapters before we hear from Sam again... sorry.**

 **Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **I'd like to repeat that I have no idea about medical stuff. If something like what is mentioned in this chapter is actually possible (which is perfectly possible, because I didn't bother to check) without Supernatural-interference and nobody should be as stumped about it as shown, I didn't know about it. Let's just act as if it isn't possible, okay?**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 8

The Wendigo-incident changed nothing about Jo's determination to become a hunter. Ellen gave up on trying to keep her from doing as she wished. She realized that the only thing that would achieve would be her daughter running from her and her rules. Jo still occasionally returned to the Roadhouse, but most of the time she was out and about, working alone or with other hunters, but always in regular contact. Ellen wasn't happy, but she could deal as long as she got regular updates on her daughter.

Dean and John had that talk Dean had wanted soon after they returned to the Roadhouse after saving Jo.

John insisted that there was no way to save Sammy. Not after so long.

"Even if we do find a way, son – what do you think will happen? Sammy will just be back and fine? He's been in Hell for half a year now, Dean. We have no idea what's been done to him. Not really. But we know it's bound to be bad. You have to accept that he's _gone_ , Dean!", John had yelled exasperatedly.

"Do I? Because I _can't_ , Dad! And I won't. I refuse to give up on my baby brother!", Dean had screamed back, feeling hurt and angry and, even though he'd never admit it, scared.

The fight that had followed had been long and vicious. For months afterward the two did not talk to each other.

Each of them had gone on a few hunts, but never together. When John had gotten arrested by the FBI, who apparently thought that both Dean and John were psychotic serial killers with a weird love for grave desecration, he had to leave the Colt behind. He only managed to escape at all because Bobby somehow figured out he was in trouble and staged a diversion. A few weeks later, John let himself be arrested _again,_ on purpose this time, to help an old friend of his who worked as a prison guard and had a ghostly problem.

Dean mostly went on simple ghost hunts, but also ran into a trickster masquerading as a janitor. He still devoted most of his time to researching Hell. He found older and more detailed texts, some of which he assumed had actually been written by demons while possessing someone. Some included horrible and detailed descriptions of the sort of torture demons enjoyed to inflict. Dean often could not read these texts in one go, because he had to go and throw up in between. The idea of someone carving out Sammy's organs, or tearing his limps apart, or doing any of the other horrific things he had read about left him feeling weak and inadequate and wanting to destroy something. The feelings and images the descriptions invoked followed him in his dreams and filled his sleep with nightmares.

* * *

The first time John and Dean had any contact with each other after their big fight was because of a hunt.

John had been baffled what could have possibly killed a man the way Joseph Taylor had been. So he called Bobby for help. Dean had spent the last few days with the grouchy old hunter after he had sat him down and told him that what he was doing wasn't healthy. Bobby insisted Dean take a break from reading about Hell, because it only messed him up and gave him nightmares. Dean had tried to protest, had tried to tell Bobby that he had to find something, that he couldn't just stop until he had, but the older hunter just looked at him and told him that doing this to himself was dishonoring his brother's sacrifice. Dean hadn't quite known how to argue that point and had in the end yielded.

So when John called Bobby it wasn't the gruff older hunter who answered, but Dean. For a moment John didn't know what to say. He was sorry about quite a few of the things he had said during his fight with Dean. But he didn't know how to say it. And he still thought that their Sammy was already lost forever. Something Dean couldn't or wouldn't accept.

"It's me, Dean.", he eventually said.

"Bobby's not here right now. He's in town.", Dean answered coldly.

"Can we please talk?", John asked swiftly before Dean could end the call.

"What do you wanna talk about? The fact that your perfectly content to let your son be tortured in Hell? That you can't even be bothered to try and find a way to save him? Even though the only reason said son is in Hell in the first place is that he saved your life? That apparently Sam was right when he said that to you he could never be good enough no matter what?", Dean asked, the tears in his eyes clearly audible in his voice.

"He said what?", John said shocked. Dean didn't answer.

John felt horrible. Maybe Dean had a few points there. But he didn't dare hope for a solution. He didn't dare hope his baby boy could be saved. Because if it turned out there was nothing, as John expected, he would be crushed. He didn't dare hope for fear of the inevitable letdown, and its consequences. Maybe that made him a coward. But he didn't dare hope.

"Dean, please. Just, please.", John whispered. He had already lost one son. He didn't want to lose the other one, too.

Dean sighed. He missed his father. The man was infuriating, stubborn and impossible to understand, but he was Dean's dad and he missed him.

"What are you doing anyways?", Dean asked.

"I'm on a hunt. But I can't figure out what I'm hunting.", John answered, his relief that Dean was talking to him drowning out his annoyance over the case.

"Guy named Joseph Taylor died of - well no one's actually sure what exactly he died of. But he's dead. There's no EMF, no hex-bags or other indications of witchcraft, no sulfur, nothing. Taylor was thirty-eight, was single, no children as far as I know, no record. His veins seem to have contracted so badly that it stopped his blood flow completely. But there's no reason nor explanation for such an contraction. I have no idea what could have caused it.", John explained somewhat frustrated.

"That's weird.", Dean said, "You sure there's no witchy stuff involved?"

"Pretty damn sure. First thing I checked when I got here."

They were quiet for a moment before John gathered his courage.

"How are you?", he asked carefully.

"What do you think how I am, with my brother in Hell and our father having quit on him?", Dean asked back tiredly. Just because he missed his father didn't mean he forgave him for giving up on Sammy.

After another round of silence, Dean steered the conversation to the saver topic of the hunts they had gone on in the last couple of months. They talked until Bobby came back and then agreed to stay in regular contact. They were, after all, all they had. Dean was still angry and he made sure his father knew that but he wouldn't completely cut the older man out of his life anymore.

* * *

A few days later they were all back at the Roadhouse. John had called everyone together, because the case he had called Bobby because of brought something completely unexpected to light. So now, for the first time in several months, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, John, Ash and Dean sat together at a table.

"Taylor did have a child. When he was sixteen he apparently had a thing with one of his classmates and they weren't careful, or something. He left her the minute he found out she was pregnant and she died six months after her child was born. In a fire. In the nursery.", John told them. He was already rather drunk, but his speech was still clear. "Anyways, the kid, Thomas, was the same age as Sam. He had been having weird dreams about a guy with yellow eyes for a few months now. That guy told him to do things. He said at first he didn't want to, but when he did, his whole world changed. He's the one who killed Taylor. For abandoning him all those years ago. He also tried to kill the official that was responsible for his later placement in a abusive foster family for a few years. I had to shoot him to stop him.", he explained unhappily.

"Whoa. Wait. How could Thomas have possibly killed Taylor? You said something about veins contracting so badly that all blood flow stopped! No human could make that happen!", Dean interrupted aghast.

"Yeah. That's what I first thought. But then he told me what "that yellow-eyed guy" from his dreams had told him.", John mumbled.

"And that is?", Ellen asked sharply.

"The demon searches for special children. When he finds them, he enters the house. Apparently he needs some sort of permission, but he knows a few tricks about how to get it without ever telling the parents what he's really doing. Anyways. When the child is six months – exactly six months – old, he – he gives them some of his blood. That blood then becomes part of them and when they grow older it gives them special abilities – like killing someone with a touch that makes their veins contract.", John whispered.

Dean stared at him. "You think – Sammy's visions – but Sam's a good person, he's not evil, he can't have – can't have demon blood!", he stuttered.

"I don't know what to think either.", John said anguished.

"I can tell you what to think: That Sam is a good person with a connection to something really bad. That that connection makes him a bit different in some ways. But that it doesn't change who he is as a person.", Jo told them sharply. Dean had told her a lot about Sam. How he sometimes tried to make himself appear smaller so he didn't scare people. How he was soft and compassionate and refused to let the Life harden or jade him. How he loved with his whole heart and soul. A person like that wasn't evil, no matter what was in their blood.

Ellen nodded hesitantly. "I'm sure she's right. If he hasn't shown any signs of it negatively affecting his character until he made that deal then I doubt that would have changed later on. He's had that blood in him practically his whole life after all."

But there was doubt in her eyes. She had been around hunters for too long to dismiss this as unimportant. Demons were pure evil and everything associated with them tended to be the same. She hadn't known Sam. She wasn't sure what this meant.

"Yes.", Dean said, "Of course. It doesn't – doesn't change anything." John shook his head. He wasn't so sure about that.

"We already met another one of these - these special children. Sam had a vision about a kid with telekinetic abilities. That kid - Max - he died pretty soon after we first met.", Dean told them. He didn't bring up the fact that Max had killed his father and uncle and had been about to kill his stepmother when Sam and he intervened. He was scared what the other hunters would think if they knew that Thomas was the second one of these so called special children that had become murderous.

"Well, this whole situation certainly brings up interesting questions. We have always assumed that yellow-eyes is relatively high up in Hell's food-chain, yes? And we now have to assume that he has plans for all these children he infected with his blood. But why did he allow Sam to make that deal if that is the case? Why did he let that Thomas-kid draw attention to himself the way he did? What is the plan in the first place?", Ash questioned thoughtfully.

* * *

 **The ending is a bit abrupt, I guess. But I couldn't quite figure out how to do it better, so we'll jsut have to live with that.**

 **Please tell me what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to BeautifulEscapism, StyxxsOmega and Kas3y for the wonderful reviews! Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **This chapter ended up quite long. I thought about breaking it in two, but then decided to just leave it like this.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 9

The news had rattled them all. John was even less enthusiastic about saving Sam than he had been before, if that was possible. That in turn made Dean even angrier at his father and lead to many shouting matches between the two of them.

Bobby was trying to conciliate what he knew about demons and all those associated with them with what he knew about Sam. Old habits die hard, and it took him a few days to accept that John's discovery did not change who Sam was. When he did, he immediately resumed helping Dean with the search for a way to save the younger Winchester. Dean in turn forgave him his moments of indecision.

Ellen did not say anything else on the topic. The new discovery made her uneasy, but she had decided to reserve judgment until she actually met the boy in person. If it ever came to that. After all, so far the only thing Dean's research had done was to give the poor boy nightmares.

Jo, who had heard so much about Sam from Dean, refused to believe that something that had been done to a person when still an infant would automatically make them evil. Sam hadn't wanted the demonic blood, nor had he asked for it. He couldn't help it and he was still human. Jo believed that he had a choice. After everything Dean had told her about his brother she couldn't believe Sam would ever choose to be evil. John's discovery didn't mean anything to her. So she continued to help in any way she could.

Ash had not had the same kind of exposure to the supernatural as the others. He was a hacker, not a hunter. He didn't know, nor did he care to know, much about demons. But he had heard snippets of what Dean had told Jo, and if what he had said was the truth, Ash didn't quite see what the new problem was supposed to be.

The implications of what John had found scared Dean a lot. But this was still his baby brother they were talking about. With puppy dog eyes, and long awkward limbs, and warm, friendly eyes, and so many emotions that he always wanted to talk about. This was Sammy. Not some evil human in league with demons loke that Thomas kid had apparently been. And Dean _could_ not, and would not give up on his Sammy.

* * *

Ash pretty much hadn't left the Roadhouse ever since he first moved in. There had never been any reason for him to do so. In his opinion, there really still wasn't. Jo, for some reason, seemed to think differently. She said she wanted his help with some research, but that was ludicrous. He might be rather brilliant with a computer, but old-fashioned research wasn't really his forte.

"What am I really doing here?", he asked her when they arrived at their destination. He had no idea where they were, but he wouldn't get out of the car until she explained what was going on. And hoped she did explain and didn't decide to leave him in the car.

"I need some help researching both a potential case around here and Hell. We haven't looked in this area yet. Plus, I think you need to get out every now and then. Especially these days.", Jo answered cheerfully.

Ash could kind of see her point there. Whenever Dean and John where in the same room, the atmosphere became incredible tense. Ellen wasn't quite her usual self either. The revelation about the demon blood had deeply unsettled her.

" _And_ I wanted to talk to you about Sam. Or rather, what you think about the situation. You are the closest thing to an objective party we have, so I want to know what you think.", Jo continued more seriously.

Ash looked at her questioningly. He had thought she had decided on her stance in this. Why would she now want his opinion?

"I – I have heard so much about Sam. Usually good things. But I've only heard them from Dean and he's hardly impartial. And he was sort-of-but-not-quite grieving at the time. I mean, yeah, he was and is convinced he'll find a way to get Sam back, mostly because he wouldn't know what to do with himself if he _can't._ But Sam's still gone and – Anyways, I wanted to know what you think about the whole demon blood thing, because you know about the supernatural, but aren't close enough to it to have the same absolute, black-and-white view most hunters have. I just – I just want to take a fresh look at things, but I don't seem to be able to, because I keep remembering everything Dean told me about Sam, and the way he looked when he talked about him – and I'm really not doing a good job explaining myself here, am I?", she ended her rambling in a resigned tone.

"You've explained well enough.", Ash assured her.

For a while they sat in silence. Ash was trying to figure out what exactly he did feel about the situation, and how to put it into words. Jo seemed nervous, but let him have the time he needed. She knew that he liked and understood computers better than this sort of thing.

"I don't want to believe that those kids are all going to end up evil because they were given something against their will when they were just babies. I want to believe that they have a choice, like every other human does. Possibly every being. Free will, you know? I think, if they don't want to follow the path Yellow-eyes put them on then they don't have to. And from what we know about Sam he really didn't like it when other people tried to decide about what his life should be like, right?", Ash eventually said slowly.

"So – it's not what's in your blood, but what you decide that matters? Is that what you're ultimately saying?", she asked uncertain.

"I don't know if I dare make that an absolute statement. But in relation to Sam – yes.", he answered.

Jo modded. She seemed relieved.

"Okay. Then let's get out of the car and get some rooms, shall we? It's already getting dark.", she said with a smile.

* * *

Shortly after that, his demon search program went high-wire.

"Holy shit!", he exclaimed, staring at his computer with wide eyes. He grabbed it and ran over to Jo' room.

"We got trouble.", he told her after nearly breaking the door with his knocking, panic clearly audible in his voice.

"What kind of trouble?", Jo asked. Ash simply showed her his computer's screen currently displaying a map of the United States.

"All those red dots? Demonic signs. I don't even want to think about how many demons have to be around for this kind of response.", he said tensely.

Jo looked at him with wide eyes.

"Not the worst thing yet, Jo. I'm afraid when it first started, most of this was concentrated in the area around the Roadhouse. They've moved since then, and spread out, but they were there just minutes ago, and with that many demons...", he trailed off, not really knowing what to say.

"Everyone who was in there at the time it happened is probably dead.", Jo finished harshly. She swallowed thickly several times, before she spoke again.

"Call Dean. I'll call John. Their on separate hunts right now, but we have to get together for this. Something big is happening. Tell Dean to get to Bobby's ASAP.", she instructed quietly before turning around to pick up her phone.

* * *

John had been most displeased when Jo told him to leave and get to Bobby's. He was hunting a werewolve, one that moved around quite a lot. He had been tracking that son-of-a-bitch for several months, unable to get close enough and continually losing the trail. And now when he was closer than he had ever been before, that girl thought she could order him around. He got a bit snappish and she snapped right back, because she was Ellen's daughter and _of course_ she wouldn't be taking any shit from anyone.

That the Roadhouse might have been destroyed rattled him. He or Dean could have been there too. And with the way they were currently fighting – it made John shudder. He had lost one son while on bad terms with each other. He wasn't sure he could take losing Dean, too, especially in the current situation.

Just to make sure, though, he drove by the Roadhouse before heading for Bobby's. He was relatively close by anyways. What he found took his breath away. The place lay in shambles. He could see charred bodies underneath the broken wood and stone. John swallowed. This was bad. Jo was right. Something big was heading their way. And they had no idea what, nor how to prepare for it.

* * *

"What do we know?", Bobby asked gruffly. Losing Ellen seemed to hit him hard. It hit them all hard. With her no-nonsense attitude she was usually able to keep them on track. She might have been a bit rough around the edges, but she had been one of the best people any of them had ever known.

"Well, we have to assume that we're down quite a few hunters. Ellen wasn't the only one in there.", John said grimly.

"The demons seem to have kind of – gathered for lack of another word. Around something. It almost seems as if they can't get into that part of Wyoming.", Ash said while staring at his computer in concentration.

"There is a good chance Yellow-eyes is involved. If our assumption that he outranks normal demons is right at least.", Dean threw in.

"If Yellow-eyes is involved whatever is left of the kids he gave his blood to might also play a part in this.", Jo mentioned. She was pale, and her voice monotone, but there was an angry glint behind the grief in her eyes.

Before they could say anything else, Bobby held up his hand. There was a look of intense concentration on his face, so the others stayed quiet. "Someone's outside.", he mouthed to them. He motioned for them to stay and then went outside.

* * *

"Really?", Ellen asked annoyed. Bobby just looked at her. She rolled her eyes and downed the small amount of holy water in the shot glass he had sat down in front of her. "Can I get whiskey now?"

"Not funny, mom.", Jo said quietly, "I thought you were dead."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just went out for some supplies. Wasn't even gone for all that long. When I got back – well, it doesn't really matter. I came here as fast as I could by walking and hitchhiking.", Ellen answered, her voice uncharacteristically soft.

The two women looked at one another for a moment before hugging.

"Don't do that to me again.", Jo whispered despairingly.

"Can't promise you anything, sweetheart. Especially not now.", Ellen whispered back in a soothing tone. Jo nodded.

"I know."

* * *

In the meantime Ash, John and Dean had figured out that apparently Samuel Colt had been trying to protect something or keep something locked up. Either way, the demons had gathered on the edges of a for them insurmountable giant Devil's Trap made of iron rail roads.

"That's kinda brilliant.", Jo said impressed.

"What did you expect from the guy who made a weapon that can kill demons even though nothing else can?", Dean asked amused.

"Problem is, Yellow-eyes might no longer be working alone.", Ash said grimly, "There are these kids with his blood. They shouldn't have any trouble crossing the rail roads."

For a moment they were all quiet while they thought about the implications.

"Well, I guess that means we're gonna have to go check out what's in the middle of this ominous Devil's Trap.", Dean said eventually.

* * *

And so they found themselves on a graveyard in front of a crypt and a crazy guy, who could apparently make them do whatever he wanted. Ellen's gun pressed against her own temple was certainly indicative of that. Ash had stayed at Bobby's place for fear of getting in the way should something happen. He was after all no hunter.

"Do you even know what's going to happen if you open that thing?", Jo asked, unable to drag her eyes away from her mother, "Do you even _care_?"

"The world will be made better! That's what's going to happen.", the guy snapped at her angrily.

"You don't believe that.", Jo whispered finally looking at him, if only for a moment.

"Yes, I do.", he answered, but there was a slight tremor in his voice.

But that was gone a moment later when he ordered Ellen to shoot and turned around to open the crypt with the Colt that had somehow come into his possession.

Bobby and Dean, being the ones closest to Ellen, leaped to her side and managed to drag the muzzle of her gun away from her head just in time to prevent her death. They threw the gun away. John and Jo on the other hand, raised their own weapons in unison and fired at the guy's back. Then John ran over to the door and tugged the Colt out of the lock.

Unlike Bobby and Dean, they were too late. The Colt had already unlocked the door. And now the crypt was opening. Bobby, Ellen, Jo, John and Dean ran to take cover behind the nearest headstones.

The inside of the crypt was a mess of red and black, fire and darkness. It did not look like the inside of a crypt. At all.

"What the fuck is that?", Dean yelled over the noise that was coming out of the red-and-black hole.

"That's Hell.", Bobby said. He was pale and wide-eyed. Dean only stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"It's a gate to Hell. A Hell's Gate.", Ellen yelled from her position, "We have to close it! Now!"

In that moment a giant ball of black smoke raced out of the crypt. Once on the outside, it spread out slightly, and they could see that it was in fact hundreds of demons.

"Son of a bitch.", Dean whispered as the demons disappeared into all directions. Apparently the rail roads were unable stop such an onslaught.

Ellen, Jo and Bobby moved towards the gate and started pushing. No need to allow any more demons to escape onto earth.

John and Dean however, got distracted by someone strolling through the graveyard.

* * *

"Hello Johnny, Dean", the man said with a sickly smile while his formerly blue eyes slowly changed to the gross yellow color that had coined his nickname.

"You.", John said with hatred in his voice.

"Me.", the demon answered simply.

"You know, I had so hoped that Sam would be with us, or rather me, at this moment. He had so much promise. He was my favorite, really. But then he proposed to make a deal for your pathetic lives. And I knew I would have to change my plans slightly, because while he's strong and angry and all around perfect for this, he was also never going to let go of that ridiculous love he held for the two of you. Even after your deaths, it would have probably held him back. And that would destroy my whole plan. I couldn't risk that. So I had to, regrettably, make that deal. Maybe he'll become useful in the future. Hell does such interesting things to human souls. They just can't take the kind of never-ending torture that is doled out there. It's really rather beautiful. The way they beg and plead. The way they all break sooner or later. The way some of them try so hard to fight, but will always only lose. Sadly enough, I had a lot to do lately and haven't been able to visit him yet. But I'm sure his screams are wonderful to listen to.", the demon taunted with his slick and smooth voice.

"Shut up!", Dean screamed. He couldn't take the way that bastard was talking about his wonderful, strong little brother and what was being done to him. He just couldn't.

"Does this make you angry, Dean? Does it make you feel worthless? That you couldn't protect the one person in the world you had always sworn to keep safe? I told our torturers to give it their everything, you know. To break him down in so many ways that even you couldn't recognize him anymore. Mentally, physically – every way they know how. And we have two or three experts that know just about every way there is.", the demon taunted.

Dean was crying by now. His brother was strong, he knew that. But was he strong enough to hold out against what Yellow-eyes described? Was there even anything left of Sammy by this point of time? Was his father right when he said that his baby brother was lost to them forever?

Dean wouldn't be able to take it. He couldn't possibly live with it. It should be him down there. His brother was good, and light, and he should never have been anywhere near Hell. Dean on the other hand was often bitter, and hateful, and unsympathetic and he didn't believe in a benevolent higher power whereas he had always had a sneaking suspicion that Sam _did_ , and if either of them should have ended up in Hell it definitely should have been him and not Sam. Never Sam. He would probably go there anyway sooner or later, because he wasn't a good person as his brother had been. Sam should have never made such a sacrifice. Not for someone like him.

Dean's walls came down completely. The feelings of worthlessness and shame and guilt he had been trying to keep at bay for so long overwhelmed him within a moment.

John, too, was shaking under the emotional onslaught the demon's speech had unleashed. He had tried so very very hard not to think about what it meant that his baby boy was in Hell. Sure, the Crossroads Demon from awhile back had made it clear enough, but right after that Jo had been in trouble and then there was his big fight with Dean, and he had managed to push what she had said to the back of his mind. And managed to pretend that Sammy was simply not with him anymore because he was elsewhere. Maybe with Dean, maybe at Standford. It didn't matter, he was simply not there right now. That was how he had been able to keep hunting, not kill himself with alcohol, and argue with Dean over not helping Sam. He had simply completely blanked out why Sam needed help in the first place. Because his compassionate and wonderful, if terribly annoying son could not possibly be in Hell. He just couldn't be and therefore wasn't. John had become terrifyingly good at lying to himself over the years. This wasn't that much more difficult. But now that all those lies were ripped away by the yellow-eyed demon before him, he couldn't hide anymore from the horrible truth. So he began to cry as well.

"Oh Johnny. Have I hit a nerve? This is really cute. You should see yourselves, all horrified and crying and not doing anyone a lick of good. It's really quite pathetic.", the demon said in a fake-sympathetic voice.

John could barely see trough his tears, but that creatures continued taunts began to make the few parts of him that weren't busy grieving and crying very angry. This thing had killed both his wife and younger son, kept on belittling said son's sacrifice, and now tried to emotionally wreck his older son and him. He couldn't let that monster win this round. He couldn't. He had to finally end this, for Mary, for Sammy, and for Dean.

"Not as pathetic as your need to bask in people's pain.", he bit out in between sobs and at the same time lifted the Colt he still held in his hand, aimed, and fired.

And his aim was true. The bullet hit the demon right in his host's heart. Yellow-eyes stared at John dumbfounded before lowering his eyes to his chest. He was obviously very surprised.

"That's for my family, you son-of-a-bitch.", John said hollowly.

The demon suddenly lit up in strange orange and red tones, before his body fell to the earth, and his host's eyes returned to their own blue shade. The yellow-eyed demon was dead.

* * *

Dean barely managed to lift his head when he heard the shot ring out. Like his father he watched the demons stunned face impassively. When the demon fell, he turned to John.

He couldn't bring himself to talk. He should tell his father that he understood now. That their Sammy was probably already gone for good because of what must have been done to him in Hell. But he couldn't.

John looked at him with agony in his eyes.

"Son. Listen, I"

He never made it any farther. The guy that had opened the Hell Gate hadn't been dead yet. He had managed to get to Ellen's discarded weapon and fired it with his last breath with uncanny aim at one of his own killers.

Dean could only stare in shocked horror as his father's eyes widened dramatically before his body fell.

This couldn't have happened. His father couldn't be dead. They had been fighting with each other for nearly six months and hadn't resolved their issues yet. This couldn't be how it ended. It just couldn't.

Dean fell to his knees by his fallen father's side. He gently laid a hand on John's shoulder.

"Dad? Come on, dad. You can't do this to me. Dad!", he said while softly shaking the dead man's shoulder.

There was of course no response. Dean pulled the body into his arms and curled around him. This couldn't be happening. John Winchester had always been larger than life. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't have left Dean alone with his burdens. He just couldn't have.

* * *

Dean didn't notice that Ellen, Jo and Bobby had successfully closed the gate. He didn't notice when Jo knelt beside him. He didn't notice her softly talking to him. He didn't notice Bobby and Ellen talking to him loudly and then to each other in hushed voices. He didn't notice anything but the dead body in his arms that was his father's.

* * *

 **So we kind of had an introduction to the whole free will theme. Sort of. That wasn't actually supposed to happen. I only wanted to get Ash out of the Roadhouse before it blew up. And then _this_ happened. I really can't quite explain how that part of the chapter came to be. But I do like its theme.**

 **Writing Ash is hard. Not sure how well I succeeded in trying to get him to be somewhat in character... And Azazel is rather difficult to write too. What do you think about my portrayal of him?**

 **So. Both Dean and John have been pretty messed up in the head for quite some time now, John is dead, and Dean is totally out of it. Anyone wanna guess what happens next?**

 **Anyways, please tell me what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you to StyxxsOmega, Souless666, Ruby, RaisingAmara and Mbavrocks12 for the reviews! Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited the story.**

 **I am introducing an OC in this chapter. I'm not sure about her. So I decided to make it up to you if she should continue to play a role in this or not. Tell me your opinion on it in your reviews!**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 10

Azazel's death rocked Hell to its core. He had been one of the oldest demons in existence, seemingly invincible, and for a long time the undisputed leader of Hell. His plan to conquer Earth with a demonic army under a human general tainted with their great leader's blood had been years in the making, but nobody knew all the details and with Azazel no longer there to coordinate everything both the demons topside and those in Hell were lost. They simply didn't know how to proceed.

Among their numbers was only one who knew how to use the confusion. Her name was Lilith. She had been the first of her kind, many many years ago, and had never quite agreed with Azazel's policies. She had been unable to fight him, however, because of the fact that she had been trapped deep inside Hell. The turmoil that followed her hated adversaries' death however was enough to free her.

Lilith could freely admit that Azazel had been powerful. Possibly even more so than her. And he had been a demon for almost as long as she was and intelligent. Far more intelligent than most of their kind. She could appreciate that. Truly. Her only problem with Azazel had always been the fact that he refused too help free their Lord and Creator, their Father. Lucifer could have been freed years ago, Lilith was sure of it. If only Azazel had wanted to free him.

Of course, it didn't matter any more. Azazel was dead. She was finally free. Hell was hers now. And soon, Lucifer would rise again in all his glory.

* * *

Kelly didn't like Lilith. Granted, she hadn't liked Azazel either, but she liked Lilith even less. Not that she would dare say so aloud. Or even think it with other demons around. After all, she wasn't stupid. But something about Lilith made her uneasy in ways she hadn't experienced since becoming what she was. She had heard that the older demon wanted to free Lucifer, something Azazel had always adamantly protested against. She wasn't sure what to think about that. She wasn't even sure if she believed that Lucifer existed. It would imply that god and other angels were real, too. And that was something Kelly couldn't quite believe.

Kelly had only relatively recently become a demon and a few memories of _before_ still lingered in her mind. A time when she had a different name and even people who cared about her. But that didn't matter anymore. She might have been something, some _one_ else once, but now she was Kelly the Crossroads Demon. And she would do her job, no matter what.

Of course that was the point of time that idiot Dean Winchester summoned her and challenged her decision. Not that he was aware of that fact.

* * *

Kelly sighed inwardly. Lilith had told them that she wanted one of the surviving Winchesters in Hell as fast as possible. Rumor was, that it had something to do with freeing Lucifer. Kelly didn't really want the Fallen Angel to be freed, if he was real to begin with. But she could not go against Lilith's dictate.

She considered the young man in front of her. He seemed tired, and desperate. She was surprised that losing his father had had such a strong effect on him. From what she had heard they had been at odds with each other ever since young Samuel had sold his soul for them.

Kelly raised an eyebrow. Winchester still hadn't said a word. Maybe he would change his mind. That would be for the best. She couldn't go against Lilith, but if he decided that he didn't want to make a deal after all that would be hardly her fault.

"Can you bring my father back?", he finally rasped out.

"Of course I can.", she answered with flourish, "But that's gonna cost you."

Winchester nodded. "Yeah, I know. Ten years, right?", he said quietly.

"Not for you. In case you haven't noticed, your brother wasn't really given any time at all. Why should I give you more?", she asked haughtily. She dearly hoped he would object and leave. Otherwise she didn't know what she would do.

* * *

It had been three days. Three days since his father had died. Three days since he had left the others. Three days just him and his father's body in the Impala. He had not slept in those three days.

Dean didn't know what to do. He had been teetering on the edge of a mental break-down for a while now. Between the painful description of his brother's fate and his father's death, Dean had reached his limit. There was nothing he could do for either of them. It was his fault. He hadn't been strong enough. Neither of them had deserved what they had gotten. It should be him.

That thought gave Dean pause. Wasn't that essentially what Sam had done? Taken their places? Maybe he could do the same for their father? He deserved Hell anyways. Maybe like this something good could come out of the whole affair. Dean nodded to himself. Now he only had to find a crossroad.

* * *

The demon was possessing a short woman in her early twenties with electric blue eyes and long brown hair. She wore a dress in bright green embroidered with yellow flowers. If Dean hadn't known better he would have said she almost seemed exasperated and slightly unhappy to see him.

He had come to the next crossroad and summoned her the moment he had made his decision. Now he kind of wished he had taken the time to plan this a little better. Then again, what was there to plan for?

Apparently he had stayed quiet for too long. The demon looked at him with one raised eyebrow as if waiting for him to turn tail and run.

"Can you bring my father back?", he asked after a while. He voice was raspy and he nearly cringed at the itchy feeling speaking left in his throat.

"Of course I can. But that's gonna cost you.", the demon answered.

Dean blinked. It almost sounded as if she didn't want him to make a deal. Which didn't make any sense at all. She was a demon!

Whatever. He didn't have to understand demons. In fact, he much rather wouldn't. So he nodded and paid her weird behavior no more mind.

"Yeah, I know. Ten years, right?", he said resigned.

"Not for you. In case you haven't noticed, your brother wasn't really given any time at all. Why should I give you more?"

For a moment Dean stood still. No time at all? Just straight to Hell?

He took a deep breath. He would end up there sooner or later anyway. Maybe it wouldn't even be quite as bad as it sounded. Sam was there. Maybe he would finally be able to protect his brother again.

"Okay.", he said.

"Okay?", she repeated astonished.

"Okay.", Dean reiterated.

For several moments the demon stayed quiet. Dean could feel her watching him.

"Now I feel sorry for you.", she suddenly said.

Dean felt anger well up in him. What was this demon-bitch's game anyways?

"Do we have deal, or what?", he snapped at her annoyed.

* * *

Kelly was frustrated. That idiotic human actually agreed to just go straight to Hell! What was she supposed to do now?

She sighed. There was no way she could give him more than a year. Especially not after this. Dammit.

"I'll give you a year. The deal has to be sealed with a kiss.", she eventually said.

* * *

When John woke up he immediately knew that something was wrong. He couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but there certainly was something. He shook his head. What had happened? He remembered Yellow-Eyes talking about Sam, about the torture that other demons were inflicting on him. He remembered both Dean and himself crying for their baby boy. He remembered getting angry and finally killing the piece of crap that had hurt his family so much over the years. And he remembered another shot ringing out from behind him, remembered pain where a bullet must have impacted.

"Impossible.", he whispered. He knew where that bullet hit him. He couldn't possibly be alive. There was no natural way for him to be not dead.

He looked around. He was in the Impala's backseat. Dean was nowhere to be seen.

Panic suddenly seized him. The last time he had woken up from something that he shouldn't have, one of his son's had given up his life and soul. This felt far too similar to that and he didn't know how he would cope if he lost Dean to Hell, too.

"He wouldn't. He would not do that.", he mumbled to himself, desperately trying to convince himself that his oldest son would not have done what John feared he might have done.

* * *

Informing first John and then Bobby, Ellen, Jo and Ash about what Dean had done had been difficult. They were all horrified, sad and afraid. But Dean didn't regret his decision. He knew that John was appalled and wished he hadn't done it, but that didn't change his own feelings. And those said he had done the right thing. He would stand by that.

At least one good thing had come from the whole situation. John agreed to return to the search for ways to return a soul damned to Hell back to Earth and additionally promised Dean to find a way to save him from going to Hell in the first place. Maybe now that his father was fully on board they'd finally make some headway with their search.

* * *

"Today it's one year since Sammy did it.", Dean said.

They were all sitting around a table at the Roadhouse. It had only been a few days since Dean had made his deal.

"And we haven't come one step closer to helping him. We have to find something. What Yellow-Eyes said – we have to find something soon.", he continued with a slightly shaky voice.

"We will, son. And we will also get you out of your deal. It'll be okay. We'll find something.", John answered in a soothing voice.

Dean looked at him with tears in his eyes. "I hope so.", he whispered.

"You know we'll all do our best. We'll find something.", Ash told him. Jo nodded. "We will.", she repeated.

Dean smiled slightly at his expanded family and felt something like hope flutter in his chest. Maybe it wasn't too late for him yet.

* * *

 **I hope nobody's too disappointed that it'll be a while yet before Sam returns to the story (he will come back, don't worry). And, well, sorry about Dean. I'm afraid I needed him to make that deal. Hope that doesn't disappoint you.**

 **The last few paragraphs are a bit akward... and rushed, and generally not all that great. Hope it's not too bad.**

 **Am I making Dean too emotional or something? Because I'm not quite sure about some of his reactions in this chapter and I would love some input from you all...**

 **Don't forget to tell me whether or not you want Kelly to show up again!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you to BeautifulEscapism, StyxxsOmega, Souless666, Kas3y and kim6020 for the reviews.**

 **Kelly will show up again, but it'll be a few chapers until then. She probably won't be a very important character, but she'll be there. (Thank you for telling me your opinions of her, BeautifulEscapism and StyxxsOmega)**

 **I'll be trying to find a balance on the whole Dean and emotions issue. I'll probably write him more emotional than he is in canon fairly often, but I'll try to not overdo it. Please tell me if you think I'm straying too far from canon characterisation. (Thank you for telling me your opinions on this issue, StyxxsOmega, Souless666 and kim6020)**

 **Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **I'm sorry about the lack of updates lately. I probably won't be able to update as often as I did in the beginning for the next few months. I'm still writing and I'll keep updating. I just don't have much time at the moment, so it'll take a bit longer than before.**

 **If you don't know the gender of the person you're talking about or don't want to say it you simply use plural, right? If not, please tell what to do and I'll correct it in the chapter.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 11

A young woman in her mid-twenties was walking down a deserted road. It was shortly before midnight, the night somewhat chilly. The woman walked slowly. She wore a warm olive-colored coat over her skinny jeans and dark red blouse-like top.

While she walked along the road, the street-lights began to flicker. Not just one, but all of them. She stopped uncertainly and stared at the defect lights. How could all of them malfunction at the same time? That wasn't normal, was it?

Then she heard rumbling in the sky to her left. She turned around and froze at what she saw. A great, black cloud flew over the sky in her direction. She could see the light blue flashes within the cloud. And every now and then, a part of it would break of as black smoke and dive toward the ground.

The woman stood transfixed as the cloud passed her overhead. One smoky black strand left it and flew straight towards her. Still, she didn't move. She was too scared. And the black thing kept on advancing on her.

Moments later, the woman was no longer in charge of her own body. The black smoky thing was. Its name was Ruby.

* * *

When Ruby escaped Hell through the Gate, she had mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, nobody liked being stuck in Hell. Being a demon only made it marginally better, unless you were obsessed with torture, like Alistair for example. But she had become acquainted with someone recently and she would have liked to get to know the person in question better. But they weren't able to accompany her on her mission. She hoped they wouldn't have changed too much when she met them again. But it was Hell, so she doubted it.

Ruby's assignment was to gather information. First in Hell, now that she had the opportunity also on Earth. But talking to her new acquaintance had made her curious about Earth. Her own recollections of _before_ were hazy at best, and it would seem that a lot had changed since she had become a witch during the Dark Ages. And because she was curious she had to know more. It wasn't part of her mission, and neither was something else she planned on doing, but she would make it work.

Ruby looked down her borrowed body and shook her head. "That won't do. This coat is horrible.", she muttered to herself.

* * *

Several weeks after the release of hundreds of demons upon the Earth, there was suspiciously little news. Bobby had feared that the demons would start wrecking havoc as soon as they had found hosts, but so far there was only a small increase in reported demon sightings among hunters. He didn't know what to think about the situation. On the one hand he was glad that the demons had not started an open war yet. After the destruction of the Roadhouse there were too few hunters around to even hope to be able to deal with something like that. But it also made him nervous. There were only two reasons for the demons to not be doing anything obvious. Either Yellow-eyes was even higher up in the food-chain than they had anticipated and his death had thrown them all for a loop. Or they were planning something very very big and troublesome. Possibly a combination of both. And Bobby didn't like that second option one bit.

There was a lot he didn't like happening at the moment. Dean's deal for example. He didn't understand how the boy could have done something so incredibly stupid. Dean might not have his brother's memory and love for learning, but he was by no means unintelligent. He should have known better. Then again, so should have Sam, a year ago. Only Dean had so much more information about Hell. Information that had given him nightmares for months now!

"Swear, those Winchesters are gonna be the death of me.", Bobby grumbled to himself. Then he sighed. They still hadn't found anything to help Sam and he doubted they would have better luck in regards to Dean. Although it might be easier to keep a soul out of Hell than to liberate it from said place. Still, he doubted they could find a resolution to either situation in books.

He sighed again. Thinking about the boys inevitably lead to thinking about John. The man hadn't taken his son's decision well. Surprisingly enough though he didn't bury himself in hunts and alcohol. At least not yet. Instead, he had started searching for ways to help both his sons in earnest. Bobby just worried what would happen to John if they found no way to save Dean. He doubted the man could take another loss.

* * *

Dean knew none of the others were happy with his decision to make that deal. He knew his father would probably end up depressed and drunk and killed on a hunt within a short time after he died and went to Hell. He knew Bobby couldn't understand why he would make a deal after everything he had learned about Hell while searching for a way to save Sam. He knew Jo was scared and afraid and confused. He knew Ellen was horrified and sad underneath the anger she had shown when he informed her of what he had done. He knew Ash didn't understand him and was even more confused than Jo. And yet knowing all this, he still couldn't bring himself to regret what he did.

So what if his father wouldn't live long past the year he himself had gotten? It was still a year more than he, they would otherwise have had.

He didn't need Bobby and Ellen and Jo and Ash to understand why he had made that deal. They would get over their sadness.

He was reasonably sure that he would most likely have ended up in Hell sooner or later anyways. Unlike his brother, he probably actually deserved being there. Not that he would let the others hear him say that. They'd probably protest and then worry about him. Worry more than they already did, that is.

* * *

 **So. Ruby. She's going to be different from canon, I think. Mostly becausei don't know how to write her accurately...** **so please tell me what you think about her.**

 **This chapter isn't very long and not much happens. I hope that doesn't dissapoint you too much. I'll try to get the next one up soon.**

 **Please tell me what you think.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to Ruby, pottyandweezlebe89, Souless666 and Kas3y for the reviews! Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited.**

 **This took a bit longer than I had hoped. Sorry for the long wait.**

 **Time leap ahead! Hope it isn't too confusing. I didn't want to repeat the whole episode, so we start after the end and have a few explanations where necessary. I changed some things around a bit (obviously). Hope you enjoy!**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 12

"Think Tamara will be okay?", Dean asked Bobby quietly.

The older man sighed and shook his head. "I'm not sure. I hope so.", he answered just as quietly before leaving Dean to his thoughts.

John, Jo, Bobby and Dean had gone to check out what turned out to be the Seven Deadly Sins with capital letters in Nebraska. Ellen had been away to meet up with another hunter to discuss the situation when they had heard of the case, so she hadn't been able to come with them.

On-scene they had teamed up with Isaac and Tamara, a married hunters couple. They were eventually able to get rid of the danger those seven old demons posed, but not before Isaac had been killed.

It had been a particularly harsh hunt, and it had brought up a somewhat uncomfortable question: Just what else had been released onto this world when that Gate had been opened? It wasn't something Dean or any of the other hunters wanted to think about. Even now, back at Bobby's warm and familiar house, the memory of the demons' announcement that many of their kind that hadn't walked the Earth in hundreds of years were now back in the game send cold shivers of dread down Dean's spine. And then there was that other thing.

"We have to talk.", Jo's voice suddenly interrupted his musings.

Dean looked at her expectantly. He wasn't sure what she could want to talk about. They had already talked about his deal. A lot. They had also talked about Isaac's death and about almost everything else that had happened on that hunt. The only thing they hadn't talked about, Jo didn't even know about.

"Don't act like that. I'm not stupid, you know. I know something happened with those demons. Bobby and John might or might nor believe your somewhat lacking account of what happened, but I _know_ something isn't right, okay?", she said sternly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jo.", Dean answered. Even he could hear that his voice sounded forced.

"I checked the body's of the demons that went after you. The were all killed with a knife.", she told him in a matter-of-fact tone of voice

"Knifes can't kill demons.", Dean automatically said. Jo just looked at him.

"Okay, okay. There was a girl. A demon I mean. She had a knife. And she killed them with it. The other demons I mean.", Dean answered unhappily after a few minutes of pointed silence.

Jo blinked a couple of times. "A demon? Killed other demons? Why?"

Dean laughed unamused. "'To save my sorry, but quite attractive ass.' Her words, not mine. Something about thinking I'm interesting. She told me to call her Ruby. Flashed her eyes black when she told me. It almost sounded as if she planned to show up again and I don't know what to think about that. I mean, she's a demon! She's riding some poor girl and doing god knows what while she's at it. But she also saved my life and I can't figure out why and I don't know what to think. And I miss Sam."

Once he started talking it was always difficult to stop. Especially with Jo. She had a way of getting him to confess about all kinds of things. He still couldn't believe he had told her as much as he had about Sam and their relationship in the last few months. He didn't have that problem with many people. Sometimes with Sam, but he was better at shutting that urge down when his brother was around. Dean swallowed hard. Thinking about Sammy still hurt. But he had been emotional for long enough now. It wasn't like him and it was going to stop right this second.

"Anyways, I don't think it would be a good idea to tell my Dad. It would just freak him out. If she wants something she'll have to tell me sooner or later what it is. I'll decide what to do when I know more about her and her plans.", he continued in a much more composed manner.

Jo looked him over. "Your old enough to know what you're doing, I guess. But please be careful.", she eventually said with a sigh before leaving him alone once again.

* * *

Jo was deeply worried about Dean. He was way too calm about his deal. And he was shutting her out. She didn't like that. Not at all. She also didn't like the implications of this Ruby's actions. Something weird was going on. Demons didn't just decide to help hunters. And a demon certainly didn't save a hunter's life. It was wrong. Not that she wasn't happy that Dean was alive for now. She was. But what interest did a demon have in his continued survival? It worried her almost as much as Dean's casual nonchalance about going to Hell.

Still, she couldn't betray his trust, and therefore couldn't tell the others about the Ruby-demon. Dean was already beginning to shut her out, it had been rather obvious during the latter part of their conversation. Telling her mother or Bobby or, worse, John, would only serve to make Dean clam up even tighter. She didn't want that.

"I wonder if you would know how to handle this situation, Sam. We haven't even really met, but I really wish you were here.", she whispered into the empty hallway.

* * *

Meeting Dean had been interesting. He had been defiant, strong, but also weirdly fragile. Like he wasn't quite whole. He obviously missed his brother a lot. More than was strictly healthy. It was almost cute. But the way it determined and defined his every thought and action, whether consciously or unconsciously, was also a somewhat annoying weakness. A weakness many, many demons would know how to use. Especially in Hell. She didn't even want to know how Alistair could (and quite possibly would in only a short year's time) use this love and longing and guilt over not protecting Sam against Dean. Unless he learned to keep these messy emotions out of his mind and not only off his face, he wouldn't stand a chance once Alistair got his literal and figurative hooks into him.

Ruby sighed. It would seem that she had a lot of work to do. "You will totally owe me for this.", she grumbled into the still air. Then she heaved a heavy sigh and started towards Singer Salvage, where her self-made mission waited. She just hoped it wouldn't get into the way of her actual assignment.

* * *

 **301 "The Magnificent Seven"**

 **So, what do you say?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you to Ruby, kim6020 and anonyme-inconnue for the reviews. Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **It's been some time and this isn't exactly long. I hope you still like it.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 13 (some weeks later)

Dean and John were at odds with each other. Not quite fighting, but if the circumstances were any different they probably would be. As it was, with Dean's deal hanging over their heads John seemed unable to summon the irritation needed for an actual fight . Bobby wasn't sure if that was as good a thing as it seemed at first glance. If they fought, they'd at least be forced to mention their problems to each other. Keeping everything inside wasn't helping either of them.

But Dean refused to talk about anything meaningful. He was slightly more reckless on hunts, had even more one-night-stands than before he had made that deal, but still insisted that he the situation wasn't affecting him at all. Bobby of course realized that that was simply Dean's way of coping. Still, it didn't seem very healthy to him, and that behavior put John even more on edge than he already was. Bobby had never seen the other hunter this scared. He was sure that John wouldn't make it for long if they failed to save Dean. John wouldn't be able to live with both of his sons dead and in Hell. Bobby wasn't too sure of his own ability to cope with that situation either. He loved those boys just as much as John did.

Bobby was pulled from his thoughts and the book he was leafing through for information on Hell and souls by John stepping into the room. The other hunter looked old. Old and tired and so very worried.

"John?", Bobby asked.

"Dean went to see a girl he met a few years ago. I didn't go with him. I wanted to. But he's an adult. I can't go everywhere with him. He wouldn't want me to. Right?" John seemed so unsure, so insecure, so unlike himself, it was heartbreaking.

"Yes, John. You should let him go off on his own every now and then.", Bobby tried to reassure his friend.

"It's just – He's going to – I want to spend as much time as possible with him, but at the same time I get so angry at him each time he tries to deny that he's in trouble. And I don't want to be angry with him because I'm going to – he's going to be gone soon and I don't know what to do anymore, Bobby. I can't lose Dean, too. And – and I miss Sam. I miss my baby boy. I don't know how to deal with this whole situation and I'm – I'm scared. I don't think I've ever been this scared before.", John admitted tiredly, voice hardly more than a whisper.

Bobby wasn't sure what he could say to that. He couldn't say everything would be okay, because it wouldn't be. Odds were, they wouldn't be able to find a way to save Dean and over a year of fruitless search had made it clear to Bobby that Sam was lost to them forever. The seasoned hunter blinked back the tears that thought provoked. That boy had deserved so much better.

"I'm sorry, John.", Bobby eventually answered quietly, " I promise you that I will not stop looking for ways to save both of those boys as long as I live. But you and I know that there is little to no hope. For either of them. And we'll have to try to live with that. For them. To – to honor their memory. And Dean at least isn't gone yet. You – We still have some time with him."

John only nodded as he lost his own fight against the tears. He didn't make a sound while the salty water streamed down his face. Bobby too had stopped trying to hold the tears back. They had good reason to fear and to grief. There was no shame in crying.

* * *

When Dean had decided to check up on Lisa and maybe hook up with her again he hadn't expected to find a case. He also hadn't expected to be confronted with a boy that just might be his own son. He didn't quite know what to do about either situation. He didn't quite dare to simply ask Lisa about Ben. And while he was sure that something was going on, he hadn't yet been able to figure out just what was responsible for the weird deaths and strange acting children.

Dean sighed. It would seem that he'd have to call Bobby about this case. He really didn't want to do that. He had left his father at Bobby's because he needed some downtime from the two older men's worrying. He understood it of course. He understood that his deal scared them and that his reaction or rather lack of real reaction to it worried them. But their hovering made him feel constricted. He had only done what he had to do. He hadn't really had a choice. Family was everything to Dean. He simply couldn't be without it. Not for long anyways. Losing Sam had meant losing his whole purpose in life. He missed his brother so much it felt like a physical ache. He couldn't have dealt with losing his father too. And he didn't regret what he had done.

Dean sighed again. There was nothing for it. He didn't know what exactly was going on in Cicero. He needed help. Calling Bobby was the logical next step. The older hunter would figure out what kind of creature was responsible, Dean would go out and gank it, and maybe he'd even be able to figure out how to ask Lisa about her – or maybe their - son along the way.

* * *

 _(a couple of days later)_

Ruby stood outside of Bobby Singer's home and wondered whether she was making a mistake by approaching these hunters. Saving Dean from those demons had been one thing. She had simply disappeared immediately afterward. But now she was about to approach two seasoned hunters in a hunter's house for a friendly chat.

"This is madness.", she grumbled to herself before walking up to the door to knock. She just really hoped that Winchester and Singer wouldn't exorcise her on sight. That would put a bit of a damper on her plans.

* * *

 **So I made John talk about his feelings. Which means he's probably kinda OOC. Hope you don't mind too much.**

 **Aaaand I have a question for you. Do you think Lisa lied to Dean when she told him Ben wasn't his? I heard some people speculating (not that it really matters anymore in canon) and I was curious what you think about it?**

 **Okay, so in the next chapter we get the first meeting between Ruby and John. Originally I wanted to put it into this one (and finish that episode ("The Kids Are Alright" 302) properly), but then I decided to cut it here. Do you want the rest of the episode (302) in the next chapter or shall we just skip all that?**

 **Please tell me what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey. It's been, like, forever. I am so sorry for the long wait. This one is pretty damn short, but I wanted to get it up as soon as possible, seeing as I have had you waiting for such a long time already.**

 **Thank you to Souless666, Kas3y and the guest reviewer. Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **Sam will definitely play a part in this story. It'll be another two or three chapters before he shows up again for the first time and then another one to three before he's really part of the narrative again I think, but he'll definitely be back.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 14

Bobby stared at the demon standing in his kitchen. He couldn't believe he'd actually allowed her to come into his house. John stood next to him, glaring at the possessed girl with all the hatred he could muster while drunk. But there was also a very faint, very guarded glimmer of hope in his eyes. That hope was the reason this she-demon was currently stood where she was and not already on her way back to Hell.

"Talk", Bobby demanded gruffly.

* * *

 _ **Before**_

 _The knock on the door couldn't have come at a worse time. Ellen, Jo and Ash had arrived earlier that same day. Dean was supposed to return the next day from a meet-up with an old girlfriend that had turned into a hunt. Demon activity had gone up, but they didn't have the man-power to check everything out. Too many hunters had died in the attack on the Roadhouse. So they had plenty of bad news and no good ones. John had started drinking pretty much the second they started talking about demons and Hell and was far from sober by the time the knock came. Jo was nearly in tears, while Ellen tried hard to act unaffected. They were all a mess. So, yeah, they really weren't in any condition to deal with any more crap._

 _Bobby had still gotten up to open the door. He had expected to see Rufus, turning up out of the blue with another dead body in the trunk of his car, or Dean, having ignored any and all speed limits in existence. He most certainly had not expected to see a young girl wearing a leather jacket and skinny jeans with black eyes. A demon not even bothering to hide its nature._

 _He opened his mouth, maybe to start an exorcism, maybe to warn the others, but the girl was faster._

" _I can help you. Or rather Dean. I already saved him once.", the creature of Hell stated coolly._

" _What?", Bobby asked confused. This demon was acting all wrong._

" _You heard me. Gonna let me come in so we can talk?", the girl snapped._

* * *

Eventually, after Jo had confirmed that a demon going by the name Ruby had saved Dean's life during the case with the Seven Deadly Sins, Bobby had allowed the demon to come inside. John was just drunk enough to be willing to listen to her on the off-chance that she could truly help Dean. Neither Bobby nor Ellen thought it to be a particularly good idea, but they couldn't just send a potential solution to Hell. Not without asking.

"Kid was stupid enough to make a deal. He thinks he knows what that means. But he doesn't. Hell's no joke. It's actual, literal Hell. And it earned that name.", the demon started.

"You said you could help him.", John growled.

"Maybe I can. Maybe I can't. But there are some things you all should know either way. Things about Hell. And", she hesitated for a moment before continuing, "And about demons. You should know what we _are_."

"I don't understand. What you are?", Jo repeated confused.

"You're scum from Hell. That's what you are.", Ellen hissed aggressively.

"I guess that's kind of true. But not entirely. We weren't always what we are, you know. Each and every one of us has a story. And sure, most of us probably deserved what we got."

"Only _most_ of you?", Ellen interrupted with venom in her voice.

"We're all human souls. Or rather, we were. Human souls that went to Hell and were twisted. You cannot imagine what happens to a soul there. It's terrible. The torture changes everyone sooner or later. They all become demons. Even those who sold there souls for the most noble of reasons. Because its Hell.", the demon answered heatedly, her eyes flashing back and forth between black and their natural ocean blue color. Her expression was somewhere between angry and genuinely sad. It was a weird look on a demon.

"I – What?", Bobby asked hoarsely. John simply stood completely frozen, while Ellen stumbled a step back. Jo and Ash visibly paled.

"Does that mean – I mean – Sam.", Jo whispered wide-eyed.

The demon didn't answer.

"How long? How long does it take for a human to stop being human?", Ellen asked sharply.

"That depends entirely on the human and the demon torturing them.", came the surpirsingly soft reply.

For several long minutes nobody said a word. Then the demon tugged a folded piece of paper out of her jeans pocket and put it on the table.

"This is my number. You call when you decide that you want my help. I'll stay close.", Ruby eventually said calmly.

The hunters were still too shocked from the recent revelation to stop the demon's exit.

* * *

 **So, as I said this is terribly short. Hopefully that won't happen again.**

 **A big Thank You to everyone who's still sticking to this story despite the long wait – I'll try to avoid a repeat, but I can't promise anything.**

 **I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with Ruby. Please tell me what you think about her so far – and maybe also what I might be missing in her characterization.**


	15. Chapter 15

**And the next chapter! It's definitely longer than the last.**

 **Thank you to anonyme-inconnue for the wonderful review. Those are some lovely theories you have. Thanks for sharing them. Also thanks to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

Chapter 15

Dean was in shock. He couldn't think. None of this made sense. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't be. His little brother was too kind, too warm, too _good_ to ever become something terrible like a demon. No matter his blood, no matter his location, no matter what anyone else did to him. He couldn't, wouldn't hurt anyone or anything without a damn good reason and therefore could never be something as twisted and dark and evil and _harmful_ as a demon. It just wasn't possible.

* * *

Jo watched her friend worriedly. She hadn't wanted to tell him about Ruby's visit and the enigmatic girl's revelation concerning demons. But both Bobby and her mother had been adamant that he deserved to know. It was, after all, his own potential future they were talking about. But Jo was sure that that hadn't yet occurred to Dean. The young man was still hung up on the fact that every day his little brother had spent in Hell had brought him a little closer to becoming what they all despised, that Sam could indeed already be an enemy.

The blonde wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. Her friend was hurting and she couldn't help. There was no way to console Dean, no new hope she could give him. Not for Sam, and most likely not for Dean himself either.

But she couldn't allow him to continue to brood either. She couldn't allow him to spent what little time he had left in misery.

* * *

"Dean." He recognized Jo's worried voice immediately and ignored her. He wasn't up for another talk about positivity or anything.

"Dean, please." No. He wouldn't cave. There was nothing he wanted to talk about. Not with her, not with anyone else.

"We don't know anything for sure, Dean. There is a possibility that she lied. To hurt you. And us. It might not be true." Yeah, because hurting them emotionally was probably an absolute priority to demons in general and this one in particular. Very likely.

"Dean, I can practically hear your sarcastic thoughts. Cut it out.", Jo's voice said warningly. He could see her expression in his mind,, annoyance almost winning over worry, but not quite. Still he refused to look at her or acknowledge her in any way.

"Dean. You can't ignore us forever, you know.", he heard her say,now clearly exasperated, but still so very worried. He didn't want her to worry. But he also didn't want to talk.

"Please don't shut me out, Dean.", she said now almost pleadingly.

"I don't want to talk, Jo. Just leave me alone.", he snapped at her hoarsely.

He heard her sigh and leave with a whispered assurance that she'd always be ready to listen if he changed his mind. They both knew he wouldn't do that any time soon.

* * *

The next day, Dean left for a potential demon hunt in Elizabethville, Ohio. Ellen and a reluctant Jo were off to their own hunt. The young girl didn't think that Dean should be left alone. But he refused to let anyone travel with him. And they really did have enough to do that splitting up wasn't a bad idea. Still, she was worried about her friend.

Bobby, too, was worried. About both Winchesters actually. But he couldn't keep an eye on both of them at the same time. So he stayed behind with John to see if they'd be able to get the Colt operational again and hoped that Dean wouldn't do anything stupid and would call for help if he needed it.

Dean needed some time alone. He couldn't stay at Bobby's. The air was too oppressive. His father, Bobby, Ellen, even Ash and Jo were now sure that his Sammy was beyond help. He could see it in the sad, pitying looks directed at him, hear it in the hopeless, tired voices they talked in and he couldn't stand it. No matter what Ruby had said, no matter was common sense compelled him to believe, he refused to give up on his brother. Not now, not ever. He knew that kid better than he knew himself. Sam wouldn't give up. He wouldn't give in. Dean refused to believe that there was anything those evil sons of bitches could do that would break his strong, stubborn little brother so much that he would turn on everything he ever believed in. He refused to believe that there was anything that could turn Sammy into something truly evil. He knew that the others thought he was in denial. That he just needed some time to accept that the Sam he knew was gone for good. But he wouldn't. He couldn't.

* * *

Two days after Dean had left John looked at Bobby with bloodshot eyes. The oldest Winchesters had avoided eye-contact with everybody after Ruby's visit. Even while they had been working on the Colt together. That he now sought out said contact was enough to make Bobby pause in his inspection of the Colt.

"She said she could help.", John murmured uncertainly. Bobby stayed quiet for a moment, wondering what he could possibly say to that.

"You really wanna put that sort of trust in a demon?", he eventually asked carefully.

"What choice do I have? If she can help – I can't just ignore that possibility. As much as I hate to even think about working with something like that – I hate the thought of losing Dean more. I can't do it, Bobby. I can't live with both my boys in Hell. Couldn't before and after what she said about the origins of demons -. If there is any chance at all that she can help I have to try. I can't ignore any possible options, matter how bad they are.", John answered quietly, desperation coloring his voice and posture.

Bobby just looked at him for a long moment. A couple of years ago, he would never have believed that either of them would ever entertain the thought of teaming up with a demon for any reason at all. They had both lost too much to the Hell's creatures. But now? This? He had to agree with John. Nothing could be bad enough that he wouldn't at least try it. So he nodded and went to fetch the number the she-demon had left them.

* * *

When her phone rang, Ruby smiled. Only one group of people had that number. And they wouldn't call her if not to ask for help. Which meant she was in. Or as in as a demon could possibly be with a group of hunters. She might actually succeed with this.

"This mean you decided to do the smart thing and accept my help?", she asked without preamble.

"Yeah. We – we accept whatever help you can give us. And Dean.", answered a tired and defeated sounding voice. Ruby grinned at these words – and the man who had uttered them.

"Didn't expect Papa Winchester to personally call. I do hope that didn't hurt too much.", she said cheekily.

"You gonna come or not?", the man asked unhappily, seemingly not quite able to summon enough anger to snap at her.

"Sure. Be there in a minute. Sit tight.", she answered, still grinning and disconnected the call. This whole thing was going better than she had expected.

* * *

"I will only talk to Dean directly about Hell and anything related to it.", Ruby said when John practically ordered her to tell him how to save Dean. She hadn't expected anything else, but it still rankled. She might not be the most powerful demon around – far from it – but she had quite a bit of knowledge about quite a few things and she most certainly was not weak in any sense of the word. These clueless hunters should fear her and respect her. But their fear wouldn't be healthy for her and their respect she would have to earn the old-fashioned way – if they gave it at all.

Still, she wouldn't back down on this. There wasn't much – anything – she could do to stop Dean from going to Hell. But maybe she could teach him how to hold on. That might already be enough. If he held on long enough, there was a chance – a very small chance – that her acquaintance would be able to step in in time. Maybe. It was highly unlikely, but still worth a try. But she couldn't tell them any of that. They didn't trust her – with good reason – and she needed to stay close. Letting them think she was able to help Dean was the only way to achieve that.

"I can help you with other things. That Colt of yours for example. And I promise to help Dean to the best of my abilities. But I won't tell you how. Take it or leave it. I don't care.", she snapped at the two old hunters when Singer opened his mouth, clearly to protest.

They both looked startled. Ruby's lips quirked upwards. One could almost say that this was fun.

"How do you know about the Colt?", Bobby asked, looking at her with suspicion.

She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "Everybody knows about the Colt. And since you killed Azazel everybody knows that you have it.", she answered with amusement. And added after thinking about it for a moment: "Azazel was the Yellow-Eyed-Demon's name."

"I don't give a damn.", John snapped impatiently. Ruby looked at him with a raised eyebrow. For a moment everybody was silent. Then John said quietly, brokenly. "Please just help us."

* * *

The demon seemed surprised to hear John practically beg for her help. Bobby had thought that this was what she had wanted, what she had expected, but apparently she hadn't realized just how badly the situation was affecting the oldest Winchester. The gruff hunter actually thought he saw the demon's eyes softening in response to John's uncharacteristic and for her seemingly unexpected plea.

"I'll do my best. This I swear to you.", she said solemnly, sounding and looking unusually, unbelievably sincere.

"Thank you.", mumbled John hoarsely.

"You said you can help with the Colt?", Bobby cut in before any more unexpected exchanges could take place and completely destroy his view of the world.

The demon turned to Bobby and nodded with a grin.

"Let's get to work, shall we?", she suggested, still grinning.

* * *

 **I hope you liked it. Please leave a review.**

 **The case Dean has left for is the one from the episode "Sin City" 0304.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello! I'm kind of in a rush, so there might be more mistakes then usually. Please tell me if that's the case.**

 **It's taken me, like, forever to put this up. For which I sincerely apologize.**

 **Rye Scop, thank you for your review. And I agree that it's been awfully long since we saw Sam. That actually wasn't originally intended. I got a little carried away, I'm afraid. Sam will show up soon. I'll be a bit longer until he and Dean truly interact again, but I'm getting there. Promise. Thank you so much for your continued interest in this story.**

 **Thank you, Karen Winchester. And thanks for the review.**

 **I'm sorry to here that you dislike that character so much, because she's going to be sticking around for a while yet. But she's not exactly canon-Ruby. I hope you'll continue give this story a chance even though she will play a role. Thank you for the review.**

 **Thanks for the review, Ashollow. Sam will be back soon. Not quite yet, but it's not too much longer.**

 **Also thank you to everyone who follows and/or favorited this story.**

 **I do not own Supernatural**

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Chapter 16

Dean had to admit that he hadn't believed that his father and Bobby would figure the Colt out. And definitely not this fast. But he was very happy that they had, because otherwise he'd have been in a lot of trouble. And most likely wouldn't be in his car on his way back to Bobby's. With a demon in the passenger seat.

The hunt hadn't been fun. In part because it had made him doubt the worth of humanity. Maybe there was no point in saving people from the Supernatural. They'd only destroy themselves and others as soon as they got the chance. In part because a sort-of-not-really friend had been killed by the female demon. Dean had always known that Richie wouldn't make it long as a hunter. He just didn't have what it took. But that he had died while on the same hunt in the same city as Dean... he should have been able to save him. But he hadn't been. Just like with Sam. He had failed, again. As he did so often lately. The young man didn't know what to do anymore. Everything was just so damn difficult. And without Sam by his side it just wasn't worth it.

He didn't know what to make of that weird demon-chick sitting beside him either. Apparently, she had helped Bobby and his dad to get the Colt operational again. And still claimed to be able to help him. As if one could get out of a deal with a demon that easily. Besides, he didn't really want to get out of that deal. He deserved whatever those creeps would do to him for the many ways he had failed Sam.

"You know they're gonna use that cute sentimentality against you, right? You don't get that pointless guilt under control soon and you're gonna break like a twig as soon as you arrive in Hell.", Ruby said conversationally. Dean's grip on the steering wheel tightened in response to the unfamiliar ( _wrong_ ) voice coming from the direction of the other seat.

"Thought you could help me avoid that.", he groused out. The demon gave him a pitying look.

"Don't be stupid. You don't believe I can, and you're right. I can, however, help you to get ready for Hell. You don't want to become a demon, do you? I can teach you how to hold onto who you are. If you'll let me.", she told him haughtily.

"So you lied to the others. Why should I believe a word that comes out of your stolen mouth?", Dean said dispassionately. He didn't really care at this point of time, but it was important to keep up appearances at all times. He couldn't slip up around his father, or Bobby, or worse Ellen or Jo.

"They wouldn't have let me help at all if I didn't give them something huge that they could still believe I could pull off. But I really can do something for you. Or rather for your brother."

"What? You seriously want me to believe that there's no way to get me out of my deal, but you can get Sam out of Hell? How is that supposed to work? One would think it would be easier to keep someone on the outside out, than to get someone already on the inside out again.", Dean snapped at her. He hated the way she was using his emotions against him. He wasn't supposed to be that easy to read, dammit.

"You made a deal. I can't break another demon's deal. And just think about what you said for one goddamn moment. Of course there are ways out. How else could there be demons topsides?", she snapped back angrily. It was the most emotion Dean had ever seen her show. Not that he had seen her often so far.

"You're saying you can bring back Sam. And you're only telling me. Why?", he asked sceptically. He was sure that she was only playing with them. Telling his friends and family that she could save him, telling him she couldn't, but could save his brother. He didn't believe a word she said.

"Because they wouldn't have believed it any more than you do. I only want to help you bunch of morons!", the she-demon hissed at him venomously, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Alright. Say I believe you. How would you do it? When would you do it? What do you get out of it? What's your price?", Dean asked after several moments of silence between them.

"No price, Dean. What I get out of it is my business. And I can't tell you how, or even when. It's gonna take time. Just because it's doable doesn't mean it's easy. That's why I wanted to talk to you about it. I don't know how badly off your brother is right now. It's unlikely for him to have become an actual, full-fledged demon quite yet. But he's most likely well on the way there. I'm not sure if you already know this, but time works differently in Hell. It depends a little bit on where exactly you are, but generally speaking, one month here is ten years there. There is a large chance that he isn't who he was before. I can't tell you how big the change will be. Maybe it'll be small and maybe it'll be huge. And before I can do anything I need to know for sure that everybody on your team will be able to deal with these changes. It makes no sense to risk so much if no-one will end up appreciating it.", Ruby answered slowly, choosing her words carefully, all the while sounding terribly unconcerned as if Sam didn't matter, as if he was just anyone. Dean had to hold back both tears and harsh words at the way she talked about his brother's suffering so nonchalantly.

"So I'm gonna stick around for a while and see if they'd be able to deal with it. And I want you to tell me how you think they would react to a – let's say darker version of your brother.", the demon eventually added when it became clear that Dean had no intention to say anything.

She felt almost bad when those vibrant green eyes looked at her with a strange combination of badly concealed hatred, pained anger, and barely-there hope. The truth was, she had no idea if there was any way to get a human soul out of Hell – and even if there was she doubted it would be something she was capable of. But she needed to stay close to Dean, and this was the only way to do so. He would never accept her presence for any reason unless it would help his little brother. She knew that. Just like she knew that the other hunters wouldn't tolerate her for any reason other than a potential solution to Dean's deal.

* * *

The next several month came and went without much change. They all went on hunts, sometimes in teams, sometimes alone. Ruby occasionally showed up to save their asses and then vanished again until they were in dire need of help or called her. John and Dean became closer again. Jo worried about her friend's mental state. Ellen tried not to show how much the situation was affecting her. Research about Hell and Deals was mostly left to Ash, Bobby and their new demonic ally. Ruby and Ash also became, somewhat surprisingly, good friends. The hunters weren't comfortable with this, but the computer genius didn't care much about their opinion. He liked the sassy, inscrutable demon. He understood why the others worried, but he had a gut feeling that they could trust Ruby. Maybe he was being naive or something, but he didn't plan on backing down.

Generally speaking, these months had been good. But now Dean's deal was about to become due. They only had a little over a week left before the Hellhounds were supposed to come collect his soul. They were running out of time.

* * *

"You said you could help!", John snarled. He was furious. That damn demon had lied to them. He should have expected it, of course. She was, after all, just another wretched demonic bitch. He never should have trusted her, never should have allowed her anywhere near his son.

"I did help!", Ruby snapped back, eyes ablaze and hands balled up into fists. "Not about this specific situation, yes. But in many other ways. I only lied to you because it was the only way to get close enough to actually be able to help! And I told Dean in the very beginning that I don't know any way to break that deal. So don't tell me what a terrible creature I am!"

"Let's all just calm down for a moment, yeah?", Ash interrupted their staring match nervously. John Winchester cut an imposing figure when enraged and the hacker didn't exactly see himself as a brave man. But he knew Ruby. He knew that she really had wanted to help, had never had any other intention. She just couldn't be of assistance where this deal was concerned. But she had tried. Ash was sure of that. She didn't deserve John's fury.

"Calm down? My son is going to Hell in about a week, and you want me to _calm down_?", John hissed dangerously.

Ash swallowed hard. He really didn't want to be the focus of this man's rage. But he couldn't leave Ruby to fend for herself either. She was his friend. So he lifted his chin and looked John directly in the eye before saying: "Yes. Ruby has done whatever she could to help. She saved you and Dean and Ellen and Jo multiple times. That coven led by the demon she had once promised her soul to back when she was still human ring any bells? The help researching when you couldn't figure out what was responsible for these strange killings around Christmas?The time you were caught by law enforcement and then attacked by demons? I will admit that she wasn't much help then, and that her proposal was very much not okay, but she tried! Told us about this Lilith-character taking over the show from Azazel, too. And those are just a few examples. She always came when any of us called and she always showed up when we needed her!"

It had taken all the courage the young man could scrape together to say these words. But they had to be said. It hadn't been right of Ruby to lie, but it wasn't right to attack her like John was doing either. Not after everything she had done for them.

"We understand that you're angry, John. Of course you are angry. When you're scared you're always angry. And you've got every right to be both. But Ash isn't entirely wrong. Ruby has done a lot for us. We shouldn't forget that.", Ellen said in her best reasonable no-nonsense voice.

John only glared at her in response and stomped out of the room angrily. She sighed and turned towards Ruby.

"It might be best if you left for the time being.",she told the girl softly. Ellen still wasn't sure what to make of the weird she-demon apparently fighting for their side. She had believed demons to be the essence of evilness for so long, she couldn't quite grasp that this one might be different. But after everything Ruby had done for them, the female hunter was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. For now.

"Yes, I guess that would be for the best. Thanks, Ash. And, thank you, Ellen, I guess. See you around, Bobby.", the demon answered and disappeared before either of the three could so much as blink.

* * *

Ruby's announcement that she couldn't actually get Dean out of his deal had come unexpectedly. They had all met at Bobby's to go over everything that had happened since Jake had opened that gate to Hell. They didn't know exactly what Lilith, the new demon leader, was planning, but they were sure it would spell trouble for them and the world at large, so they were hoping to get a handle on it as soon as possible.

Ruby had been quiet from the very beginning. And then, in the middle of a discussion about the likelihood of a full-on war, she had suddenly burst out that she had lied to them about being able to help with Dean's deal. The young man in question had looked at her for a moment, and then quickly left the room to go upstairs. Jo had followed him after only a few moments hesitation. Bobby had been seemed too shell-shocked to move, and John had exploded practically immediately.

* * *

"So, you've always known that Ruby couldn't help?", Jo asked shocked. Her friend had only now confided in her that the demon had told him point-blank that she couldn't save him only hours after she had assured John and Bobby that she could.

Dean nodded miserably. Jo looked at him confused. She didn't understand why Dean hadn't told anyone. He still didn't really like Ruby. Why would he have allowed this charade to continue?

"What else did she tell you?", she suddenly asked. Dean gave her short glance and then shook his head.

"Doesn't matter. I may not like her, but she did help us out a few times. And I had my own reasons for not outing her lie.", he said calmly. Jo could practically see his masks going up and walls slamming down. She sighed. Dean wouldn't tell her what all this was about, that much was clear.

"Okay.", she agreed softly. The young man smiled at her gratefully.

"I'm sacred.", he whispered suddenly. Jo looked at him sharply.

"I'd worry about your sanity if you weren't.", she told him, trying for a playful tone. His answering smile was more of a grimace.

"I don't want to become a demon. I don't want to hurt people. I've only ever wanted to help others, you know? That and to have Sammy by my side have always been the only things I ever wanted.", he told her in a painfully small voice. When he looked up, Jo could see tears in his expressive eyes. The young woman didn't quite know what to say.

"I know.", she eventually murmured, her own eyes also wet.

* * *

 **Please leave a review. Thanks for reading.**

 **The events mentioned in Ash's defense of Ruby are 309 Malleus Malleficarum, 308 A Very Supernatural Christmas and 312 Jus in Bello.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for the review , anonyme-inconnue! Ruby's motives are indeed an interesting thing to think about, right? I'm glad you likes the chapter.**

 **Thank you, Ruby.**

 **Here it is, Souless666! Took a while but it is here now. Thank you for the review and I'm glad you still like the story. :)**

 **Thank you, Kas3y.**

 **Also thanks to everyone who follows this story.**

 **In this chapter we take a look at Hell.**

 **This is going to leave canon behind. In many aspects. Hell is going to work differently than in the series. Demons are (sort of) going to work differently. Quite a few interactions/relationships will be different. (But I might still sneak in a few references to actual episodes).**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

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Chapter 17

Hell is far more complex than most people would assume. And so are demons. It hadn't taken Sam long to realize that the differences between different demons were far greater than he had initially assumed. Not all demons had aspirations to destroy human lifes (much). Not all demons liked chaos. And even though Azazel had been Hell's leader and king until his demise not all demons had followed him. Just like now not all demons followed Lilith despite her new status in Hell. It was one of these demons that eventually told Sam about Lilith's plan to free Lucifer. And also informed him about Dean's deal and his possible role in the beginning of the end of the world. Until then Sam had been more or less content to stay were he was. It wasn't ideal, it wasn't really comfortable, but it was safe (or as safe as Hell could possibly be), he was okay and there really was no reason to look for a way to leave. Especially since he didn't really believe that such a thing even existed. But the new knowledge changed everything for Sam. He had to prepare. Because he wouldn't leave Dean alone in the coming storm.

* * *

When Sam's soul had first arrived in Hell, the only thing he could register was pain. Later, confusion joined that pain. When he finally fully understood where he was and what was happening, he had experienced fear like never before. But he had stood his ground. He hadn't broken. He couldn't allow himself to, because he instinctively knew where that would lead. And he wouldn't become something his brother hunted. At the very least not in Dean's lifetime because he couldn't do that to his brother. He wouldn't. Nothing else mattered. And so he refused to let anything they did get to him. No matter what, he didn't give them anything. As little reaction as possible (he couldn't always keep from screaming), no answers to any questions they asked (not even the pointless, ridiculous ones like how old he had been when he made that deal), but most of all he refused to let go of his morals and his memories of his family, no matter how often they promised it would make things better.

After 20 years (or 2 months on earth; he had been informed about the differences of time early on) his tormentors had grown restless. Apparently he should at the very least show first signs of giving in by this point of time. Like answering the pointless, ridiculous questions in exchange for a short respite from the pain. He knew that most people didn't refuse to answer these questions for long. It was nothing the demons didn't already know anyways. But Sam was well aware of the fact that the torturers wouldn't leave it at that. And that it would be all the harder to resist later on if he gave in in the beginning. He couldn't risk that. Couldn't risk not being strong enough to pull back again. And so he continued to bear the torture to best of his abilities and not break.

30 years after he had first arrived in Hell, things changed. His tormentors told him with great glee that he would not be able to hold out against what was coming next for long. For while they were good at what they did, and had broken and transformed many human souls, they weren't quite masters of their great art like the demon who would from now on torture Sam. Alistair, they assured the hunter, would find a way to break him down and build him up anew as something else entirely. And when that was done, they continued with sickening smiles, Sam would only feel gratefulness towards Hell's best torturer for showing him the pleasure of hurting others.

And Sam had to find out that in many ways, they hadn't been as wrong as he had hoped. Because if one truly wanted to call torture an art, then Alistair was quite possibly the greatest artist to ever exist. After three decades of daily torture, Sam had thought he knew pain. But the old demon proved that assumption to be wrong within the first few minutes. Alistair was not only well versed in the ways of inflicting physical pain, but was also employing psychological and mental torture with terrible precision. Of course, his predecessors had been had been capable of all of that, too, but they had never been as accurate, had never gone as deep, and had never been able to cause as much pain, mental and physical, as Alistair. Sam wasn't sure how the demon was doing it, but he most certainly was as good as the others had said. And that scared the young hunter nearly senseless.

For a while, Sam wasn't sure if he'd be able to keep his promise to himself and hold out at the very least until Dean had died. But he tried and he fought and he succeeded – mostly anyways. When he finally managed to escape Alistair's _tender_ care, he still knew who he was, had never hurt another soul (as Alistair had tried to make him do), and he didn't thing that his own soul had transformed into the terrible black oily _something_ a demon's essence was made of. By that point of time he had been in Hell for about 200 years. He fled from The Racks (which absolutely deserved capitalization) deeper into Hell, closer to where Lucifer resided, because even the oldest demons avoided the cold, dark depths where their creator was caged. There he found solace and companionship from an unexpected source. At least until a demon he had known topsides showed up and informed him of his brother's (and the world's) terrible fate.

* * *

"Demons lie.", Sam said casually while looking the roiling black mass of vaguely humanoid-shape over. "Why should I believe a word you say?"

Something that sounded oddly like a sigh came from the demon in front of him. "I know that you know that not all demons are exactly the same. So don't act as if you still believe those cliches to be absolute truth."

Sam stayed quiet. Yes, he knew that not all demons were the actual definition of evil. He knew that humans could be as cruel or even crueler than demons. A demon only had as great a potential to be anything as he or she had had when they had been human. They might be more likely to choose to fulfill their potential for evil as opposed to fulfilling their potential for good, but essentially they weren't all that different from humans. Which, of course, was very much to be expected. They were broken human souls, after all.

"What's your game here? What is your problem with Lilith?", Sam asked into the rising tension.

"My problem with Lilith?", the demon repeated snarling, "My problem with Lilith is that she is a fool who is going to get all of us destroyed for a fantasy that she has to know is not real!"

Sam stared at the agitated demon. "Care to elaborate?", he drawled eventually.

"Didn't you listen? She plans to release Lucifer. Lucifer! Fallen Angel, creator of demons, you know? He hates humanity! And to prove that he was right to do so he created demons out of human souls. To show the depth of evil humans are capable of!", the demon hissed, the dark oily smoke that made up her form shifting and roiling in an open emotional display.

"I know. But he'd need demons on his side to win, wouldn't he?"

"Goddammit, how naive are you? He'd use us, yes, but in the end he'd still destroy us! Azazel knew that, I know that, only Lilith seems to have forgotten! Even though she was the first human ever turned into a demon.", was the demon's annoyed reply.

Sam nodded slowly. "How long to we have left?", he asked. The question of why she would approach him about this would have to wait. It probably didn't really matter all that much.

The demon was visibly relieved. And took the form of the body she had been occupying when they had met topsides.

"If that was you trying not to let me know who you are, then you failed miserably. I've recognized you the moment you showed up here, Meg.", he told her with something that was almost amusement.

For a moment she looked startled, then she laughed.

"Probably should have seen that coming.", she said with a grin. But after only a few moments she sobered again and sighed.

"I'm afraid we don't have much time. It took me forever to find you. Your brother's year is almost over. Even if we could find a way to get topsides before his deal comes due, I doubt we could stop it from happening. I don't know what to do, to be honest.", Meg told him, sounding lost. Such behavior from a demon was disturbing to say the least.

"Tell me everything that's happened since I, well, died, I guess.", Sam said. There wasn't much hope but maybe the answer was closer than they thought.

"Alright.", the she-demon said, looking slightly confused, but obeying nonetheless.

* * *

 **So, some answers and some new questions. And, of course, finally Sam.**

 **Meg follows Azazel and seeing as in this AU Azazel was against setting Lucifer free, so is Meg. Just in case anybody was confused.**

 **Also, demons can either walk around looking like any human body they have at some point possessed (if they remember what they looked like that is), or as black smoke.**

 **If you have any questions, or if you are confused about something, please ask! I try to make everything nice and understandable, but I'm not always entirely sure if I succeed with that.**

 **Also, I'm sorry for the long wait. Thank you to you all for still reading this.**

 **Please leave a review and tell me what you think!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello , my faithful readers!**

 **I'm terribly sorry to have left you waiting so long. And incredibly grateful that you're still reading this.**

 **BTS-ARMY-BTS: Thanks for the review! We'll be seeing more of Sammy from now on.**

 **Souless666: Thanks for the review! I know that a lot of what I write doesn't really line up with what the show says about Hell and demons and all that (same will be true for Heaven and angels). I hope you will still continue to read this.**

 **Anonyme-inconnue: Thanks for the review! I am very glad you liked the chapter.**

 **Shadowpletlove: Thanks for the review!**

 **Guest: Thanks for the review!**

 **Also thank you to everyone who favorited and/or follows the story!**

 **I do not own Supernatural.**

* * *

It didn't take Meg very long to give Sam an overview over the situation. She didn't have much knowledge about details, because, as she put it, Lilith might be an idiot, but she wasn't actually stupid.

"The only really interesting thing I know that isn't also common knowledge is that your brother seems to have acquired a demonic friend.", the demon eventually said, "But I don't know who. Lilith does, but she's keeping it to herself."

"Ruby.", Sam said. He wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried.

Meg looked at him.

"You sent her? But you weren't even down here yet when that demon started following your brother around. You were still being tortured by Alistair.", she said, confusion evident in her voice.

Sam very nearly rolled his eyes. As if being tortured stopped him from commuticating. Also, it wasn't really very tactful of her to talk about it like that. Then again, she was a demon.

"I met Ruby there. She had some sort of mission. I'm not sure what. It brought her there and also topsides. I told her about Dean, about our lives. She was almost something like a friend back then. I asked her to check in on him. If my dad knew about that he'd probably have a heart attack, but", he trailed off.

"But you needed to believe that she was, if not on your side, at least not your enemy.", Meg said matter-of-factually. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. It helped you keep your humanity."

"Did I?", he asked absentmindedly.

It took the demon a moment to understand what the man in front of her was talking about. When she did, she began laughing in surprise. How could he not know?

"Oh yes, you did. It annoyed Alistair to no end. Even without giving into him about the whole torturing others thing, your soul should have grown far more – I don't know - let's call it demonic, yes that fits well enough. Your soul should have become at least a bit more demonic by now. Actually by the time you escaped and especially by now, considering how close to Lucifer you have been hanging out. Don't you feel that?"

For some time Sam simply looked at her. He wanted to believe what she said about him still being human. But he could feel that something about him had changed. Even after escaping Alistair the thought of fleeing Hell never even crossed his mind. He was too scared of what he might have become. Here, in Hell, close to Lucifer, he couldn't hurt anyone. But if he actually managed to leave Hell, who knew what he might do? Even if he was no demon, he was dangerous. Very dangerous.

"Of course I can feel him.", he eventually answered. "I can feel the coldness and the hatred and his desire to cause pain."

Meg looked at him, her eyes wide. "But down here its not just a desire, as you put it! You can feel that longing everywhere in Hell and it affects the souls. Its why everybody changes eventually and becomes a demon. His influence is too strong to be denied. But down here. Down here its not just the desire you feel. You can actually feel the pain he wants to inflict!", she said, as if Sam wasn't very much aware of that.

"I've been down here ever since I escaped Alistair about 40 years ago, Meg. I know. And it's a very much toned down version of the pain Lucifer wants and can inflict. The cage muffles his Grace and his power too much for anything more.", he explained.

Meg stared at him.

"And you stay here. Voluntarily. Why?", she asked incredulously.

"Because it's safe." Sam answered simply. He had no intention whatsoever to explain his reasons to Meg.

The demon seemed to realize this.

"So she's probably not one of Lilith's."

"Ruby? I don't know. I hope not, but I can't know for sure. I mean, she was nice enough to me. But that doesn't actually tell us anything. I just hope I didn't make things worse for Dean by telling her about him."

* * *

"You've been a very naughty little demon, Ruby."

Ruby didn't answer. She hadn't expected Lilith to catch up with her at this time. There was still a lot she had to tell Dean. As he was right now he didn't stand a chance against Alistair. He would break in record time. Too much guilt. And other touchy-feely stuff. And now that she had been caught she wouldn't be able to prepare him for what was coming. She sent a short mental apology to Sam for failing to give his brother the help he needed. Even though the Sam she had known probably didn't exist anymore.

"I'm in charge of Hell now. And I'm pretty sure I've made our new course clear. And you went against it. Against me.", the little girl in front of her said, almost casually. Well, the demon possessing the little girl did, at any rate.

"I've made my choice, Lilith. I've chosen my side. There's nothing you can do about it.", Ruby said slowly with intent.

The little girl laughed. It was a pure, pearly sort of laugh. One that was meant to make everyone hearing it smile. Ruby felt sick.

"Seriously? You're a demon! You're possessing someone yourself! But you have a problem with me possessing a child? As for what you said: You really think so? There are ways to change you mind, you know that. You know Hell. Soon you're going to be back to being a good little demon. And do as I say."

There was nothing Ruby could say to that. At least not without showing just how scared she was. Admittedly, Lilith probably already knew.

Ruby took a deep breath.

"You're not going to win, Lilith. There are many of us who don't agree with your ideas. Lucifer cannot be freed. We will not let you do that.", she said, trying to sound strong and sure of herself. But even she could hear how shaky and scared her voice sounded. How much she herself didn't believe what she was saying.

"Really? And who is going to lead you? You know you have no chance to win against me without first uniting the different factions disagreeing with me. And you have noone who has any chance at all to succeed in that task.", Lilith answered sweetly with a soft laugh.

Ruby swallowed. Lilith wasn't entirely wrong. The demons who didn't agree with Lilith's plans didn't exactly all like each other. And many of them were too afraid to act. At least without someone to lead them. Someone strong and capable and, well, scary. They were still demons, after all. But there was noone like that around.

"Anyways. It's back to Hell for you. And not to the nice parts. Have a nice stay. When you come back you'll do everything I say. Bye!", the older demon said cheerfully.

Ruby shuddered. The next moment she wasn't on Earth anymore.

* * *

"Meg.", Sam said.

The demon had left him to his thoughts a while ago. She wasn't supposed to come back until she had new information in Dean. It was too early for his deal to have come due, and very unlikely for Meg to get any more news before he arrived in Hell. Sam was curious what had brought her to him this time.

"I know I wasn't supposed to be back this soon. But Ruby is back here. And not of her own free will. She's being tortured for having gone against Lilith by helping Dean. Or, well, trying to."

Sam stayed quiet for several moments.

"How long until Dean's deal comes due?", he eventually asked.

"Upstairs? Couple of days. Three, I think.", Meg answered.

"Where's Ruby being held? Who's working on her?"

"Until Dean arrives Alistair and then just the general crew. You know where they each work."

"We won't be able to get into Alistair's work place. At least not easily. It'll take a lot of time to plan. Alistair doesn't really like torturing demons as much. And he'll want to prepare everything for Dean's arrival. Both will diminish in his effectiveness. Ruby'll have to deal with him. We get her when she gets transferred. We start planning that and rescuing Dean from Alistair now. Do you know of anyone else who would be willing to help us? Anyone at all?", Sam decided.

"Well. There might be some demons who would be willing to help. If only to stop Lilith's plans to raise Lucifer.", Meg answered slowly, looking at Sam uncomfortably. Sam just looked back, waiting for more information.

Meg shook her head. "You won't like it.", she warned.

Sam just kept looking at her.

"A while ago, a demon approached me. She said she didn't want to work for Lilith. And that she's sorry it took her too long to realize that and act on it. She had originally planned not to get in anyone's way. But then she realized what exactly freeing Him would mean and, well, changed her mind."

"What does that mean? Too late?", Sam asked confused. At that, Meg looked even more uncomfortable. In the back of his mind, Sam was amazed how human the apparent emotion made the demon seem to him. Even though essentially she looked like some smoke.

"Well, Kelly's a crossroads demon. And she was doing her job, you know? There's nothing personal about it. Really. She's relatively young, and she was really conflicted about it.", Meg rambled.

And suddenly, Sam understood. And became angry.

* * *

"Why isn't that bitch coming?", John growled out angrily.

Jo and Ellen had convinced him to try calling Ruby. Even if she didn't know a way to save Dean, she still might be willing to fight alongside them when they confronted Lilith. And the Hellhounds. So they had all gathered to call her. But she wasn't coming.

"Lilith must have gotten to her.", Ash whispered in horror, "There's no other explanation. She has no choice but to come when summoned like this. Unless she's locked down real tight in Hell."

"That would imply that she really was on our side.", Ellen said neutrally.

"You seriously doubt that?", Ash asked agitated. He and Ruby had become something like friends over the time they had known each other. And it upset him that the others didn't want to believe that she truly had been on their side.

"Yes. She's a demon.", Ellen answered, giving him a severe look.

Ash snorted. "Well, then it must be as you say.", he said sarcastically.

"Excuse me? My son is going to Hell today. Can we maybe focus on him for the moment and figure out what to do and think about your pet demon later?", John asked, annoyed and afraid.

"There is nothing to focus on. You can't stop this, Dad.", Dean said tiredly.

"Dean", John said, the pain he felt audibly in his voice.

"I kow, Dad. But this is it for me. It's over. We can't stop this. You should just let me go away now and let me wait for the Hounds on my own. There is no reason for you to see what's going to happen.", Dean said pleadingly.

"Let you die alone? You better forget that right this instance.", Jo snapped.

Ellen nodded. "The end or not. You're not going to go through it alone."

"We're your family. All of us. Family don't end with blood.", Bobby added.

* * *

John didn't say anything. Neither did Dean.

Some hours later, John stood over his son's torn body. He couldn't look at what was left of Dean. But he couldn't move away from the corpse either.

Ever since his wife was taken from him by that thrice-damned demon, he had had only two goals in his life: find and destroy the demon responsible for his misery, as well as every other supernatural being hurting people he came across, and, possibly even more important, even of he sometimes forgot that fact, protecting his sons.

The first might have been achieved, but in the second, so much more important task he had failed. Spectacularly. And twice.

John bowed his head and wept.

* * *

Bobbykept an eye on John. Seeing the usually so proud and stoic man this way was hard. Harder than he had anticipated. He didn't even really like John all that much, no matter how much he loved the man's sons. And still, seeing him so unlike himself almost hurt.

They had known going in that they couldn't win. But still they had tried, because that was what they did. They fought against the incomprehensible and seemingly unbeatable. And sometimes, maybe even often, they lost. Like today. They had known they would, but that didn't make it any less horrible.

They hadn't even managed to find that demon-bitch. But the Hellhounds sure as Hell had found them. And try as they might, thy hadn't been able to defeat those.

Bobby looked to where Ellen and Jo where standing, leaning on each other for support. Jo was crying, while Ellen was staring grimly ahead. Much like John, she seemed unable to look at Dean's body.

He understood that. It was a terrible sight.

"What now?", asked Ash quietly right behind the old hunter, "What do we do?"

"We mourn. And then we continue on. Like Dean would have wanted us to. And we'll also try to keep his fool father alive. Which is going to be a fight all on its own.", Bobby answered gruffly.

Ash nodded. "What about, well, what about continuing his work? He hadn't quite given up yet on finding something, right?"

Bobby snorted. "Denial. He had to believe there was a way to save his brother. But there isn't. It's too late. For both of them."

* * *

 **And that's it for now. Again, I'm sorry it took this long.**

 **Please tell me what you think!**


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